You are home to me March 23, 2005
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.trackback
So I’m having lunch alone, because all of my work buddies went out to
eat. (Because they don’t have meetings at 1 p.m.) It’s just me and my
Amy’s Organics and prepackaged carrot sticks. (Is it wrong that I buy
those one-serving packs of carrot sticks rather than just packing them
myself?)
I think I found a new place. I’m going to see it Friday. It’s not
exactly what I had wanted, but it’s bigger, the price is right and it
has a little yard. (Yay for grass.) It’s in a good area too. I’m
hoping it works out.
Have been out TWICE already this week. And I’m going to regular
martini-drinking tonight. I don’t know what’s come over me. I am
starting to believe that I’m not the old lady I think I am …
Monday night I went to dinner with B and bunch of his friends. They
invited me out after dinner, but it was damn near 11 p.m., and I was a
little nervous about going out, because I felt this overwhelming
niceness toward B. Also, a girl that B obviously has a crush on is
moving out of town. Monday night they were going out with her to
celebrate one of her last nights in town … I couldn’t stand to watch
him get drunk and flirt like that. (I don’t think she realizes that
he’s not happy that she’s leaving, but I could tell from the way he
said it that he was upset about it.) I know she’s had ample
opportunity to act on this crush and never has, so I wasn’t expecting
anything other than flirting.
But I just couldn’t watch it on Monday night … every now and again I
just get this nagging pang of attraction to B. Like I never got out
that last little bit of wanting him, and it’ll always just linger in
the background, and most of the time I’ll be able to ignore it.
Anyway, it’s a feeling that I haven’t had in awhile, but I felt it
Monday. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, because he’s certainly
not giving out any vibes. I simply refuse to give in to that even a
little bit. I refuse to backslide into a heart-wrenching situation
that is only going to cause me stress, no matter how much I like the
warmth that bathes over me when I’m caught up in the middle of it and
we’re hanging out and staying up talking until all hours of the
morning. I feel so great while I’m there, but I end up near tears each
time I leave.
I think I just haven’t spent enough time with him lately. We used to
hang out all the time, but we’re both really busy lately. So I don’t
have time to get annoyed with him and wonder why the hell I ever
wanted him in the first place.
Moving on.
There’s a birthday celebration for a good friend of mine on Friday
night. It will be interesting to see which guys show up. Am planning
on looking extra fabulous just in case a certain (terribly mean,
unworthy of my time) guy comes.
‘Tis better to ignore him whilst looking beautiful, no?
About those carrots, I have always justified it by saying it works out to be the same, price and time wise, since you’d have to go buy those little bags for snacks that aren’t the same size as the sandwich sized ones. too much trouble. better to let them do it for you.
as for looking fabulous friday night, glam yourself up for sure. Somehow knowing you look extra good gives you confidence and if that certain boy is there, all the more reason to show him what he’s missing.
eh yes, that wanting someone you can’t have. so familiar.
Yes, being hot and unavailable is the best revenge!
Just happened on your blog. Love it. I’ll be back.