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Not exactly what you want to hear … April 24, 2005

Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.
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I was browsing in a store yesterday. I had gone shopping to buy a cute jacket I had seen online, but when I tried it on I looked like a linebacker. Not a flattering shape on me at all. At all.

I stopped by the accessories before I left the store. I was looking at earrings and necklaces when a loud woman and a man came over to look at accessories as well. She would pick something off of the rack, hold it up and loudly ask his opinion. He’d loudly answer and she’d put whatever she was holding back.

I had picked up a pair of coral-colored beaded earrings and was contemplating if they’d work with a shirt I have while the loud couple continued their shopping. I finally decided against the earrings and went to put them up, which unfortunately meant I had to come between the loud lady and the accessories. I was annoyed by her unwillingness to let me by and their loudness, so I slid my hand past her, and was pretty short as I said “Excuse me” and then walked over to the sunglasses. (Sidenote: My heart is totally broken that I can’t buy some huge fabulous sunglasses this year, but I invested $100 in prescription sunglasses a few months ago, and they’ve made my life so much better and my driving more pleasant, but still … sigh.)

So I’m looking over sunglasses and such when I hear the loud couple talking about me. (They greatly overestimated their whispering skills.) It became pretty clear that I had wrongly assumed that they were a couple. The man was clearly using this shopping excursion to check out women under the guise of helping his female friend shop.

I kept my head down while they talked about me. She asked him what he thought of me and he said, and I quote, “She’s cute, but she looks mean.”

My head snapped up, rather involuntarily, and our eyes met. He gave me this, “Yeah, I was talking about you” look and I kind of rolled my eyes and moved over to another section of the store.

Sigh … I’m even started to LOOK like a hermit to other people. I’m going back to my cave to be alone.

Adventures in Sitting Shoes April 21, 2005

Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.
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Was able to return to the regular Wednesday night martini night, as I was actually in town this week. As an added bonus, a college roomie of mine was in town for the night, which was cause to celebrate indeed. (I see her two or three times a year now, which is never enough.)
 
I’m not going to even TRY to avoid a cliche or cheesiness. This woman was the Carrie of our group of single girlfriends. Always the most stylish, always the most popular, always the core that held our close-knit girls’ group together. Once she took a job out of state, some of the magic of our foursome faded. Though I still have friendships with all of these women, our relationships and interactions have changed substantially.
 
Now, all of this is not because our Carrie moved. I suspect that even if we all lived in the same town there would be some distance between us, though it is convenient to blame distance for what would have occurred naturally. We changed and got jobs and some of us got boyfriends and others of us went to grad school. (Even our hairstyles have changes, with her opting for heavy-ish bangs and a closer-to-natural brown instead of blonde and me getting some long, sweeping bangs with a very short layered bob in the back.) 
 
Still, these four women were are part of some of my most fun (and, conversely, most self-destructive) times — semesters and years when I could dance all night and drink like a fish and flirt like a fool and kiss without consequence.
 
Even though our relationship will never be the same, the magic was there last night. After drinks, we hung out for a few hours at a friend’s place and reminisced. Just the girls. We told the same stories we always tell and laughed at the same jokes we always laugh at and looked at the same pictures we’ve seen dozens of times before. It felt like old times, just a little less natural and far less permanent.
 
Carrie has settled in, found her a man that she’s crazy about and who loves her just as much. And I’m happy for her — I am — but it’s still weird to not be her black mini-skirted partner in crime, fighting to get the front of the line for drinks from our favorite bartenders, who knew to go heavy on the vodka, light on the cranberry and generous with the lime.
 
I can’t even drink vodka and cranberry anymore. (Even with a lot of lime.)
 
It just doesn’t taste nearly as good as I remember it tasting.

Is it Friday yet? April 19, 2005

Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.
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So not feeling the workweek. Worn out. Totally worn out.
 
Going to see another apartment at lunch.
 
Sigh.
 
As much as I want to rent the wonderful nice apartment in a cute neighborhood (!) with awesome floors and beautiful ceilings and a well-kept garden and covered parking right by my door, I can’t. We’d have to rename this blog, "Charming, but totally too poor to make use of it." I did a budget spreadsheet and the outlook was not pretty. (I am such a mega dork. I swear.)
 
I had almost convinced myself that I really could not buy any new clothes for a year and never go out to dinner or on weekend vacays. I didn’t need pedicures, ever. I can (and probably should) just pluck my own eyebrows. 
 
However, I drew the line when I calculated how much I’d have to cut my adult beverage consumption back by … I am not going back to drinking boxed wine because I am not in college anymore. I am an adult, and I work too hard to not have a martini or six in my spare time.
 
Also, in super nice awesome apartment, I wouldn’t even be able to afford cable. I lived without cable when I was in school, but now I make four (or more) times what I did then. I did without back then, but now I don’t feel like I should have to. Also, what would I do if I couldn’t watch the Daily Show before bed? Watch the actual news? As if!
 
So, as much as it is burning a little hole in my soul, I can’t take the nice apartment. I can (and have) found several other places that are much more affordable and in similar neighborhoods. If the place isn’t rented in a week or so, I’m going to call the landlady and see if I can haggle, but I think this is a lost cause.
 
Sigh.
 
Looking at my finances was good for me, though. It was a nice reality check that I think I needed. Yes, I lived on much less when I was in school, but that doesn’t mean I can buy four (yep, FOUR) pairs of shoes and two purses every month. It doesn’t mean I can eat out three times a week for lunch and all the time for dinner.
 
So, I’ve kind of had a mini-epiphany as of late. (As you can see.) I just have this tendency to be so damn extreme all of the time, whether its with shopping or going out or working too much. I’m meeting myself coming and going these days.
 
Thus the more stripped-down place, with a tighter budget in place and better schedule. (Also more boys. Can I get more boys? Please?) Also, and I’m even hesitant to type this, no more smoking. At this point, my addiction is all psychological. I can go days without smoking. So I will. Forever. (Yeah, we’re all happy about this now, but who’s going to be there to rip the cigarettes from my hand at 1 a.m. on a Saturday night when I’ve had three glasses of wine and reeeeally want just ONE?)
 
Being a grown-up sucks. Hardcore.
 
Is it Friday yet?
 
(Also, are people just screwing with me now? I’m getting visitors off of a search in some obscure search engine for "Tips on how to Jerk Off." I am SO terribly serious. As if I’m not sexually harassed enough in real life … and, if you have to search for that, not even the Internet can help you and THAT, my friend, is saying A LOT.)
 
(Also, part 2: Do I seem hermit-like? It’s been insinuated that I’ve become hermit-like.)

Joy and Rapture April 16, 2005

Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.
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… are what I am experiencing over the fantabulously cute apartment I just saw. I almost passed out when I walked into it. It was a semi-orgasmic experience … I mean, the place has hardwood floors, natural wood ceilings, ample bedroom space, a refurbished kitchen, ceramic tile … Sigh. This beautiful apartment has made much more happy than any man as of late. I’m giddy. Freakin’ GIDDY.

Told the landlady I wanted to think about it for the weekend. It’s kind of like how you can’t make big life decisions during the hour after gettin’ some, when you’re basking in the afterglow of your partner … You wouldn’t sign a lease during that hour, would you?

I mean, the sight of perfectly-preserved hardwood floors in a place from the 40s was enough to send me over the moon. (Normally these older places have poorly-kept floors and crappy kitchens and bathrooms and the owner charges you beaucoup rent under the guise of the place being charming. Seriously. I always want to say, “Charming my ass! I know a few things about being charming. Lady, I write the book on charming, and this ain’t nothing like what I consider charming!”)

Once I saw the gorgeous bathroom redo (New bathroom in an old place? The best of both worlds, baby!) I just KNEW I would love living there. Rent slightly more than I had wanted to pay? Nonsense! She had me at “remodeled.”

Must go call all of my friends and proclaim my love for the charming, single unit I just toured. May your days be merry and your floors hardwood.

Back to civilization April 14, 2005

Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.
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Been out of town on business for a few days. It is very very nice to be back home. (There are so many benefits to home, the most important being that I don’t get lost all of the time.)

I was in a much smaller town in the middle of nowhere. No Internet access in my room, no decent restaurants or fun bars that would be acceptable to visit alone.

Also, no coffee places. Now, I am not a big Starbucks fan because I think big corporations are evil and they’re closing down locally owned businesses and erasing some of the cultural aspects of towns. (Just my opinion. Have your own.) At home I have several smaller shops that keep me in espresso and muffins.

As I checked out of my hotel this morning, I asked a hotel employee to point me toward the nearest Starbucks or similar business. She looked at me as if I had asked her where the store that sold baby souls was or something.

I had to settle for bottled Starbucks. (I refuse to drink gas station coffee because I don’t trust anything that’s been sitting in a scuzzy gas station for who knows how long.) And yeah, no Doubleshot, which is espresso and cream in that little can. Apparently, that’s, um, tres uncommon in rural country. (Which is a shame, because I can drink two of those without blinking.)

I am not quite sure how I survived.

Well, I did, and I’m back. I’m worn out, but planning on going out and finding interesting things and fun boys.

But the best laid plans …

And also, regarding the search terms I was mentioning in my last post, go search this: peeing videos “country bumpkin” (the first term should not have quotes and the second should) together in Google and see what site comes up. (Is someone just screwing with me now?)

It’s good to be known for something, right?