Psyching myself out October 26, 2005
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.trackback
I talked to the Relief Worker last night. He’s getting settled into his new digs a few hours from here. It was nice to hear from him, as we’d been playing a bit of phone tag.
We only talked for a little while. The conversations we have fit the same structure:
Say hello and flirt.
Relief Worker compliments S.
S blushes and says thanks.
Flirt some more.
Update on S’s day at work.
Flirt.
Update on the Relief Worker’s Day at work.
Flirt.
Relief Worker compliments S again.
S blushes.
Cell phone cuts out.
Relief Worker says he’d like to see S again.
S affirms that she would like that.
Flirt.
Awkward pause.
Flirt and say goodbye.
We’re not having hour-long conversations. We have a lot to say when we hang out, but I feel slightly awkward on the phone. It’s just odd.
Best Friend Ever said to just go with it.
I guess I’m questioning my interest. I mean, if I were really interested, wouldn’t I be moving heaven and earth to go see him for a weekend? I think I’m worried that our differences in belief, religion and creed are more than I’m willing to work to overcome.
He’s just so well-behaved and gentlemanly and polite. I like all of those things, but I don’t mind someone who misbehaves every now and again (if you know what I mean).
Sigh.
I feel like I’m worried too much about this. It is as if I’m worried about being too judgmental about someone’s beliefs or too stubborn to even consider dealing with them. Being judgmental and stubborn is generally considered a negative thing, but maybe I should go with these feelings.
Do I not go forward because I’m worried about future conflict based on (what I am assuming) is a Great Divide in feelings on the appropriateness of certain behavior between consenting adults? Or do I wait until I reach the Great Divide and risk feelings being hurt and arguments being had?
I’m thinking about this too much, I know I am.
Ah…A good case of the old ‘analysis paralysis’. I’m very familiar with this.
My BF always tells me to ‘just go for it’ and me being a worry wart…and prone to making all sorts of ‘pro’s and con’s’ lists…always has a hard time heeding her advice. How come I can ‘just go for it’ in impractical situations? Example: Drink 4 cosmopolitans, flirt with guy, make out with him profusely. I should be reserving that lack of effort and ease for guys who deserve it…
Your gut is throwing some red flags. Listen and proceed. He sounds lovely. He obviously likes you. Doesn’t mean it’s forever…and doesn’t mean you have to like him back after getting to know him better (or not, depending on how Great the Divide is).
Easier said then done…I know.
I’ve been where you are recently and I agree that you should listen to the red flags. There’s something about these ‘nice’ guys which makes us almost kill ourselves to like them. But it’s not about whether they’re nice, it’s about whether you’re the right fit for each other. However, it’s too early to say if this is short, medium or long term, so enjoy it until it starts to wreck your head, and then run in the opposite direction.
yes, you are thinking about this WAY too much.
it aint rocket scientry. nor is it intramedialogy. in fact it isnt even cosmetology.
it’s just conversation, eh?
so, crank the steering wheel, kick out the jams and ROCK ON DUDETTE!!
–mr. helpful
Sounds like a southern gentleman. I have one I talk to occasionally over the phone and it’s like I have to carry the conversation. But, he’s a real nice and sweet guy. Some people are phone talkers and some aren’t, I guess.
Hon, you’re growin’ up. The internal dialogue doesn’t sound painful, just sounds mature.
Oh god do i understand the analysis paralysis. Don’t ignore it, you need to listen to everything your gut is throwing at you…but take it with the grain of salt that is intrinsic in singletons: that your head is going to argue black and blue with your heart, and all you can do is see how the ride goes, and what will be, will be.