An Open Letter to Myself on the Occasion of Halloween

An Open Letter to Myself on the Occasion of Halloween October 31, 2005

Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.
trackback

Dear S,

Please do not act like a tramp tonight. Just because it is Halloween and you have a cute new silky camisole and sexy new pointy boots does not mean that you need to act like a common streetwalker.

Sure, it seems like a good idea to get all dressed up and go out and act silly because it’s Halloween and you can get away with it. But have we learned nothing from events of Halloweens past? The show disasters, the costume malfunctions, the hangovers from hell …

Take last Halloween, for example. Was there any reason to drink all of that vodka? Also, the boy? Was that necessary? I think not!

You are an adult now and I think it is high time that you stopped carrying on like a trollop on Halloween, just because it is socially acceptable to dress a touch sluttier than normal under the guise of being “in costume.” (Because, really, it is high time that you stopped using Halloween as an excuse to buy a new outfit that you can “costume up” with random animal ears or a witches hat.)

Also, you should really not wear the devil tail you purchased to go with the devil ears you purchased to match your sexy red shirt (a.k.a. “Devil Costume”). You know that wearing a tail on Halloween is merely a ploy to get people to pay attention to your ass. So predictable! So cheesy! So blech!

And shots? Are you 21? Grow up!

Just a little pre-emptive damage control.

Sincerely,

Comments»

1. Neil - October 31, 2005: Actually, I’m hoping you DO wear it, and then post the photos on the blog.
2. -jess - October 31, 2005: Ha ha… But come on… It’s only one night a year…
3. the belligerent intellectual - November 1, 2005: I wore my devil tail and I promise it was NOT to get girls to stare at my ass. It was so that, in conversation, I show them my tail and ask them if they would like to touch it.
4. auburn - November 2, 2005: We don’t really celebrate Halloween that much in Oz, but if we did i am DAMN sure i’d be wearing devil ears and a pointed tail! It’s all about the animal instinct. Live it up while you can get away with it, i say.
5. Brooke - November 2, 2005: Why didn’t you write this letter to me 10 years ago? I could have really used it.
6. Vixen - November 3, 2005: Ummmmm, methinks I read the letter too late!
7. Eve - November 3, 2005: Ditto! I ABSOLUTELY read this letter too late, lol!
8. Lisa - November 8, 2005: Its sort of wierd to realize that 10 short years ago? That was me. I can so relate and it brings back alot of memories. Thanks!
9. Everything but... - November 21, 2005: Haha, and did the pre-emptive damage control letter work?
10. Meg - November 23, 2005: As long as you weren’t a “naughty schoolgirl,” it’s a good Halloween! I just want to tell those hundreds of girls in plaid skirts to try a naughty librarian or a naughty astronaut or someting with a LITTLE originality.

Charming, but single