Planning the future January 29, 2006
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.trackback
I received a very beautiful wedding invitation in the mail from one of my dear girlfriends. She is getting married in April and I am very excited about her wedding, because it is an opportunity for some of our old crew to reunite and drink wine together in dressy clothes while we dance around like morons.
And if I have a chance to dance around like a moron with old college drinking buddies, I am going to take it every time.
I tucked the directions to the wedding in my dayplanner and made a note to ask for a day off from work to hang out with the out-of-towners either before or after the wedding. I wondered about the likelihood of getting a hotel room in New Orleans for the night after the wedding without having to give my first born, since they (obviously) were unable to book a block of rooms.
I was completing the RSVP card when I faced the dreaded, “Number attending” blank.
I had overlooked that the invitation was addressed to me “and Guest,” which is on its face a well-meaning bride’s way of telling her single friends who aren’t in relationships, “I believe you’ll be in a meaningful relationship by the time of our wedding.” But anyone who has ever received an invitation addressed to them “and Guest,” knows that it can feel a bit pitiful, like, “We know that you haven’t been able to snag a man during the past 26 years, and we’re doubtful that you’ll be able to find one in the next several weeks, but, hey, stranger things have happened …”
I contemplated the “Number attending” blank.
The pessimist in me says I should just go alone. The optimist in me thinks that my luck with men has been so bad for so long that something’s gotta give. It’s just the law of averages. I will trip over a guy tomorrow and he will be the one and we will go to the wedding together, says the optimist.
The realist in me, however, knows that the RSVP card needs to be back by the end of February. So, if this is the end of January, that means I have ONE MONTH to secure a date and be able to respond with “2” as the “Number attending.”
But I am handicapped by one unfortunately placed holiday — Valentine’s Day. Hunting for a man between now and V-Day is pretty pointless, as I know no rational, sane man who would want to start something less than three weeks before the Official Holiday of Couples.
So, the earliest the Hunt for the Wedding Date can begin in February 15. The RSVP should be mailed back by Feb. 22 to allow the Post Office three business days to get the card back to my friend.
So, if my math and calendar skills are correct, I have ONE WEEK, Feb. 15 to Feb. 22, to find a suitable date for the wedding of a good friend (which means I will be drunk and babbling and in need of affection). And because the whole thing is out of town, it probably includes a night in a hotel, if one can be located, which only adds a layer of stress to the whole event.
(And yes, I am this neurotic. Perhaps I should be medicated.)
I’m just so tired of going to these things alone. My two good friends who I will be hanging out with will have dates because one is married already and the other has a serious live-in boyfriend. And to make matters worse, there is a possibility that a Drunken Mistake of mine will be in attendance. I had hoped that Drunken Mistake wouldn’t be invited, but given the odd people who are included, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did get an invite. (This makes the whole situation even more touchy, since there is some messiness between my Drunken Mistake and one of the Bridesmaids in addition to the obvious obnoxiousness between me and my Drunken Mistake.) If Drunken Mistake IS there and I don’t have a date, I will be pretty pissed and may have to be kept away from the bar.
So, I suppose I should go on a marathon of bar and party hopping mid-February?
Are you really going through all of this over a fill in the blank question?! I say, if you end up finding someone in your week-long bar hopping excursion, it’ll most likely suck, be a forced date which will end miserably maybe with an embarassing situation involving public humiliation. And do you really think Drunken Mistake will notice whether or not you have a date? Go alone and pick up a hottie there
Do what I would do - take a gay friend.
Then you’ll have someone to dance with and can still cruise the other cute guys there!
Hey, don’t forget, single GUYS go to weddings too. And when I was in that spot, I was the one hoping I’d be able to meet a cute single girl there. Might be better to go alone after all - it’ll force you to be social and it just might help you talk to someone you otherwise wouldn’t have approached.
i’m with dating dummy. why the pressue to bring someone? you could end up stuck with someone who you want to throw in front of a train that’s hauling manure. go alone.
I’ve had moments where I thought I’d rather have root canal then go to one of *those* events alone (yet again). The last time I felt this way I ended up inviting my personal trainer. I told him that some single friends and I had a contest who could bring the hottest date to the wedding. He took my invitation as the greatest compliment. We went as friends, but no one would have known it. And since he was a profesional athlete (track runner for Nike) I ended up winnng the contest. Lots of fun memories for what could have been another dreaded event! Shallow, I know. But hey…
I say go single and who cares since you have old friends to catch up with… now if it were a wedding where you knew no one but the bride and groom I could understand wanting a date or a friend to go with….
Also, just wondering does the guest have to be a romantic interest? Could you bring a friend (girl) or whomever. When I got married I gave people that option to bring a friend, lover, relative, whomever.
Monica — I’m not REALLY going to obsess about it. I mean, not for very much longer, anyway.
Rees — Not a bad idea …
DD — Doesn’t meeting a guy at a wedding kind of put an added layer of committment stress on the whole sitch?
Keith — “you could end up stuck with someone who you want to throw in front of a train that’s hauling manure” … speaking from experience? ;p
Diane — That is a really great idea. That might be better than bringing a gay guy …
Anon — The invite didn’t say, but I hardly think my friend cares who I bring … depending on how much her caterer runs, she may rather I come alone! ;P
That’s a tough question. At first I was thinking you should go it alone — that way you don’t have to entertain a stranger while you are with your friends. But with Drunken Mistake…. Hmmm… Can you bring a guy friend as a date. Someone cute you’ve known awhile. That way if there’s someone really cute and interesting at the party, you can make a move. But if not, you’ve still got your “date”?
You know, you are stressing out about this more than you should imo and blowing this out of proportion. I personally don’t think its fair to bring a guy-friend as “backup.” Think of how the guy feels! (This is a guy’s perspective obviously)Think about how he’d feel if he was left around, while you’re off swinging with other sexy guys and whatnot. If you must go, I’d say go alone, show that you’re not going to be sway but such trivial matters and I bet you’ll find a cute single guy there. After all, single guys do exist out there!
:wink: But it’ll be awhile before I’ll be attending any weddings and if I do, I’ll probably face the same predicament. In anycase, goodluck.
(The “still looking” and “still questioning” type of guy)
well they say that the best place to meet single guys is at a wedding… not that i have ever but that’s what they say… the recent wedding i went to was the weirdest ‘coz the groom was a guy i used to go out with in university and the bride is our classmate. too weird… but i acted like it was a reunion of some sorts.
oh yes i can totally relate! i find myself in this situation all of the time! Thanks for the link and I’ll be sure to return the fava