On Southern Boys March 7, 2006
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.trackback
(Note: I started thinking about this because of a comment from Ms. Virginia Belle yesterday.)
People from the South are quick to point out how we are different, especially where I live. More relaxed, very centered around big families and lots of food. We’re gossipy and social and friendly and kind.
Say what you want about the South and our sometimes backwards ways. I don’t agree with everyone from down here and there are certainly things I would change, but the calm sweetness of a no-frills good ol’ time certainly is not one of them.
Men down here, a lot of them anyway, are smooth Southern gentlemen, chivalrous to a fault, because it almost seems insincere. They’re friendly and chatty and it can make a grown woman crazy trying to figure out if they’re flirting with you or if they were just raised right by a Strict Southern Momma who taught them that a Lady comes to expect certain things and a Gentleman should always oblige so to not hurt her delicate sensibilities (which are mostly a front, to be honest).
Not all of the men are like this. There are the hicks who act as if they’ve never seen a push-up bra before and the jerks who are, for lack of a better term, jerky. (You know ‘em when you see ‘em.) And yeah, guys are guys and a large subset is interested in beer, sports, whiskey and Jenna Jameson. At times, I feel like the Southern Gentleman is an endangered species, a creature to be protected and cultivated for the future.
He is friendly. He always shakes your hand and smiles when he meets you and he makes a point to repeat your name back and be formally introduced at all parties in a group. He teases in a good-natured way, always opens doors and pulls out chairs. He includes people in conversation and is a fan of casually touching you when he talks. On the shoulder. On the knee.
The Southern Gentlemen I know are mid-to-late twenties (or early thirties), preppy dressers in professional jobs. They may name drop a bit (that’s the Good Ol’ Boy in them), but they’ll listen when you name drop right back. They all own at least one pair of seersucker pants and do not be surprised if they wear them out, at night, with docksiders and a white polo and wonder why you (in your dressy jeans, neatly done hair, high heels and sparkly evening top) complain that they look like your grandfather. (Even though you think they’re adorable in seersucker.)
They have a sweet tone to their voice, a slow drawl that makes the words sound dramatic. “Well, don’t you look nice tonight,” sounds ever more so sincere from a Southern Gentleman with a thick accent and a big smile.
These guys are genuinely nice and they will compliment every woman around them because it is the polite thing to do. They will never let you stand, always give up their seat. Smile and wink at women and give a good hearty handshake to their male brethren in passing.
They drink scotch or whiskey on the rocks. A double, please. Always. Or beer, but probably not Light beer. They play Hank Williams on the jukebox and will pull you to your feet and dance with you in the middle of a crowded bar. (And yes, they will swing you around and dip you and you will squeal like a little girl and blush and turn red.)
Some people may think these guys are cheesy. Or that they’re just playing to get a woman’s attention. And that may be true at times. And these guys do have Alpha Male moments and they do like to be manly at sometimes they’ll leave you and the girls to talk shoes (thankfully!) and make silly chauvinistic comments because they can get away with saying just about anything in that sweet tone of theirs.
But the manliest of the Southern Gentlemen do fall when they’re smitten with a woman. I have seen them walk a straight line behind a petite blonde with sparkling eyes and shiny hair as she squeaks out her drink order or throws her own soft Southern drawl right back at them to soothe them into doing her bidding.
(And don’t be fooled by these Southern women. They seem fragile and gentle, but they turn when their hand is forced. Steel Magnolias, every last one of them.)
I used to dislike these guys, because I didn’t think they were genuine. I thought they were obviously looking for trophy wives to help plan their law firm’s Christmas Party or to smile and nod (and pack and extra flask) while they entertained clients at weekend football games. I found them and their sweetness to be patronizing.
But lately, I’m thinking that maybe these guys aren’t so bad. I like boys who open doors (as long as they’re doing it to be polite) and I may have judged them a bit too quickly.
Turns out I’m a sucker for an accent and a kiss on the cheek after all.
YES! this is the quintessential description of a modern southern gent. i love it! and i love southern gents! for anyone who doesn’t “get” southern men or know what they look like, this is it in a nutshell. excellent post, CBS!!!
i also agree that they should be considered endangered species and have their natural habitats protected (uh, i guess that would be bars and country clubs). i also think scientists should tag their ears. that way, single belles could id them more easily!
gosh, nothing will charm the pants off of you faster than a guy like this! (I mean this literally and figuratively!)
i’m surprised that what i said inspired that….cool.
every year in april, we have a big event here in SC called The Cup. it is basically a gigantic tailgating party where everyone dresses up. (It started as horse races, and while there are still races, it’s more of a big party than anything else.) it could also be considered The Southern Gent Convention because it is full of bourbon on the rocks, seersucker pants and handshakes! all the girls wear sundresses and big hats and it is quite the big to-do. this will be my 3rd Cup and i’ll be blogging about it, for sure! i’ve already gotten my dress! it is probably right up there with christmas as far as annual events i anticipate! if you are anywhere in the vicinity of SC on April 1st, you must go! you can be my guest! we can consider it “field research”!
Wonderful post. I too am a sucker for a good ‘ole Southern boy. And p.s.: I used to live in SC - it certainly IS the party of the year!
::sigh:: That sounds lovely.
*SIGH* That most elusive and endangered of creatures: The Southern Gentleman. I can’t imagine what posessed me to leave the South.
sighz… you’re making me want a nice southern boy…
I’d like one of those too.
Interesting blog. I linked you.
sweet post. and yes manners go a long way. the other night a girlfriend was passing around beers, and there was one left. my friend keri and i were wanted it, but when it got to my guy friend it didn’t even phase him. ‘Thanks,’ he said and took a big swig. Little things like that can say a lot about a person.
amen!!! i’m so excited, being a southern gal, that i get to marry a southern boy who owns seersucker and has manners!!
Just found your blog…it’s great! I was born and raised in Mississippi, then moved to the Midwest. I will def. keep up with your blog…it’s like a little piece of home.
I think the Mason/Dixon line extends a little further north up to the great midwest…
My grandmother (well, both of them) was a huge influence in my life, and taught me to open doors for women, say yes/no ma’am/sir, shake hands, be polite, let the lady order first and all that jazz…too many women up here aren’t phased by it or they think you’re just trying to get into their pants, rather than being polite and having manners.
Simple things that go a loooong way.
This makes me lust for my time spent in North Carolina, all the southern gentlemen with their sweet knowing smiles, shirts tucked in AND they gave up their seats on the bus for me…
Now to bring them back I just say “pardon?” instead of “sorry?” or “huh?” but it’s just not the same….
Does Southern Hemisphere count?
Wombat
I’m a sucker for an accent. My most recent ex was from Scotland/Engald, one before that was from Mississippi. There’s just something about they way they talk dirty.
Moxie
I hate when Southern guys wear the short shorts, docksiders (or flip flops) and sunglasses with Croakies! That’s the description of the SAEs at my school, anyway… (I lived in Atlanta as a child and then wound up back in Alabama for high school…
Some are good, some are bad… but some are TRUE mamma’s boys and to be avoided!
-betsy
so when should I move down south?
My first love was a boy from N.Carolina, and it was DEFINATELY the combo of the drawl and the gentlemanly ways.
I fell hard for a man from Texas (after going to college there) who I once saw help an elderly woman step down from the curb to cross the street.
Now, there ARE times when I feel that the S.G.’s ways make it hard to read what’s REALLY going on in those heads of theirs, but as far as being courted, they are tops!
Southern Gentlemen are the best…makes me thankful that my mom raised me to “expect” certain things just like a true southern belle…
Sounds to me like “maybe these guys aren’t so bad” too!
There was a guy I knew in college from South Carolina, not quite like you are describing, but I bet he would be if he could.
(August-Lioness)
I don’t own seersucker. I hate my accent, it doesn’t help in business circles. I am polite, always open doors, hold the seat for a lady. I always thought it was just good manners.
Sigh….I miss my Southern boys. Just got back from Atlanta yesterday (used to live there), and loved having people be polite and hold doors and stuff =)
Well put! Love it!
After living in Arizona and DC, I’m so glad to be back in the south where people say thank you and open doors for you.
Southern Gentlemen are absolutely a dying breed. My father, a roue and a cad by many standards, is, nonetheless, eternally polite. So much so that he keeps his eyes on passengers in his car rather than on the road. His momma always taught him to look at people when they speak. lol!
I have snagged a less rare version of the Southern Gentleman, the Good Old Boy. Equally charming at times, but more… earthy.
[...] Being Southern, Dating, Men, Friends. trackback I have previously professed an undying love for Southern Men and their gentlemanly charms and their slow accents, which make even the most basic of compliments [...]