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That went poorly … June 19, 2006

Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.
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Wow. That was disastrous. (I think the only thing that would have made it worse would have been if I said, “Please don’t cry.” Which I didn’t.)

I was having serious Web connection issues while I tried to let the IT Guy down gently. Each time I sent or received a message, I’d get signed off.

It went like this:

IT Guy: Why don’t you let me take you out on Thursday? Charming gets knocked offline.

Charming signs back on.

Charming: I’m really sorry …

Charming gets knocked offline.

Charming signs back on.

IT Guy: It’s ok.

IT Guy: Why don’t you let me take you out on Thursday?

Charming gets knocked offline.

Repeat.

I finally squeezed in a, “I’m sorry [It Guy]. I had a nice time hanging out, but you seem to be hung up on your ex and I do not think it is going to work.”

And then I got knocked offline.

I finally got my connection to work, but he had signed offline. So I sent him a very apologetic e-mail.

I feel like a bitch. I do not know why this was so hard for me – I think I just saw him as so emotionally vulnerable and I was really worried that I’d upset him. The crying on the date got to me.

Also, the reference to burning an ex-girlfriend’s things …

Oh, in case you’re wondering, I hate pulling off Band-Aids. I pick at them. It takes me a few minutes to just rip them off. It stresses me out.

Amazingly, eyebrow waxes? Fine.

Sigh. Next!

Comments»

1. Girl From Ipanema - June 20, 2006

Eyebrow waxes rule ;)
You did the right thing! It takes a lot of guts to tell people straight out what you are feeling. Sorry about all of the online/offline problems, but DO NOT feel bad about telling this guy the truth.

It does suck because you never want to hurt anyone…but you knew that this just wasn’t going to work out…

NEXT is right! :) Go get ‘em!

2. Lissa - June 20, 2006

At least it is over! Bring on the next guy!

3. ked - June 20, 2006

At least you were nice and concerned about how it would go, feelings involved, etc. It could have gone much, much worse for him. You could have just cut him off without a word or harsh ones at that! You did alright. Rest easy.

4. agirlbythesea - June 20, 2006

You are soooo not a bitch! And I totally forgot about him burning his ex’s things. He’s obviously unhinged. Don’t give it another thought.

5. Stick - June 20, 2006

Oh the irony of an IT guy getting dumped over the computer.

Least you could’ve done was send him a ‘getting-away’ care pack with an old pair of your drawers, maybe a shirt, a book of matches, a copy of Blazzing Sadles and a box of tissues.

Nothing says, “Closure” like pyrotechnics and a black sheriff.

You heartbreaker, you.

6. Empress Juju - June 20, 2006

If a guy is going to ask you on a date over IM, then he risks getting shot down over IM.

I think you handled it beautifully… the tech problems were beyond your control.

7. Margaret - June 20, 2006

You handled that with all the charm and grace your web connection would allow.

8. Pagan Marbury - June 20, 2006

Good instincts– if someone has unfinished business, it will always come back to bite you

9. Dating Dummy - June 20, 2006

I’m glad you stepped up and did the right thing. It may not have gone as smoothly as you would’ve liked, but leaving things unresolved and leaving the rest to imagination is often much, much worse. Think about that next time you’re gonna have to let someone else down (and you will, because you’re a good catch)- it’s easier to know than to not know, even if it’s harder in the short term.

You did good. His feelings are his own responsibility and he’ll learn to deal with it in time. You also did him a favor by telling him why it didn’t work out; sometimes people don’t realize the obvious until it’s told to them point blank.

Onto the next one - and with a clear conscience. :)

10. NotCarrie - June 20, 2006

That must have been SO frustrating with getting kicked off a ton. I hate that.

11. myboyfriendiscrazy - June 20, 2006

At least you got a few good blog entries out of him… but that’s a pretty awkward situation and I think you did a great job.

12. over educated nympho - June 20, 2006

OH MY GOD, this guy has PROJECT written all over his tear-filled face. Back away quickly before you get sucked in.

13. Brooke - June 21, 2006

Ow ow ow. But you did the right thing. This guy looks like he had the makings to become a cling-on.

14. Debi - June 21, 2006

you did the right thing. :)

15. Lisa - June 21, 2006

YOu were smart….

16. Virginia Belle - June 21, 2006

ok, that was weird. i mentioned bandaids in my last comment before even reading this post.

well, at least it’s over. unfortunately, we will all hurt someone eventually, just like we will in turn be hurt as well. it’s part of life. think about how much worst it would be if you two kept wasting each others’ time??

17. Virginia Belle - June 21, 2006

oh, and p.s.–you are not a bitch. you deserve to be happy, just like he does.

18. Neil - June 21, 2006

You actually come off as very compassionate in this post. You cared about his feelings. It was your online connection that seemed to really hate him.

19. Anonymous - June 22, 2006

Hallo!
Damit sie nie mehr Single sein müssen:
http://www.5-single.net

Hello!
Here is a new Singleportal:
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20. NML - June 22, 2006

You totally did the right thing. Crying on a date over your ex is so not the done thing. I think you were very kind to him even if the internet connection was trying to tell you something… I think it would be a bit much for him to expect you to continue to date him - he shouldn’t be dating anyway yet as he clearly isn’t ready and is no doubt emotionally unavailable. Eyebrow wax is the way to go as long as you’re not hungover…

21. Anil - June 23, 2006

No baggage is big enough if you love a guy, but then it is far easier to carry a guy’s baggage than the guy. :)

22. Miss Devylish - June 23, 2006

Oh honey.. he didn’t cry.. did he? Lord.. They should know not to do the ex talk.. we have to. You did the right thing.

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