Waiting August 16, 2006
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.trackback
You know what I hate about dating? So much potential around me, but the time it takes to cultivate the seed and have it grow into something more moves at a snail’s pace. And I’m left just sitting here tapping my fingers impatiently waiting.
For the good stuff.
With The Nurse doing finals, our status is pretty much left hanging, though I have to say that we do talk everyday, which I think is promising. I wanted to have the Talk, but I’m very not very confrontational when it comes to these matters. But he hasn’t signed on to Match in two weeks (not that I know how to check without him knowing I checked … who me? Stalker?), which I think is probably a sign that he actually has been busy and stressed. Or that he’s not dating half of the city. Or that he’s already dating half of the women on Match, so he doesn’t need to sign on anymore.
And my frustration-fueled Match.com Man Spree of a few weeks ago left me e-mailing a few guys, but that seems to have fizzled, probably because I wasn’t very dedicated to it. I also chatted with The Blackberry, who I think doesn’t really remember too much about me, honestly.
Which is hysterical.
And The Crier has been messaging me. He’s moved into a new townhouse and he said he wants me to have me over for a glass of wine. (Even after I told him I was seeing someone. Because, you know, if you’re going to overstate a relationship, you should at least have a good reason, like not having to see the guy who cried on a date again …) That sound you hear is me blocking him on Messenger and running away quickly in high heels …
I’d love to hear what you’d like to say in “The Talk”.
Perhaps you could post it here first?
I wondered, too, what The Talk would consist of.
You’re so brave.
I never have The Talk.
Your meandering thoughts on why he hasn’t been on Match made me laugh.
I remember the day I noticed my (now) boyfriend took his profile off match. I was like YES he actually likes me! (And it’s about god damn time! We didn’t have the “talk” for almost 2 months after we started dating).
Ha! I totally hear the click click click…
Well, now I’m worried that the Talk is premature … we’ll see how things go.
Thank you! I thought I was overreacting, going crazy over the waiting. Glad I’m not alone.
I hear that if you log out of Match, then click on Search and search by user name, the profile pops up. You can’t get details, but it will show when he was last active.
Not that I’ve ever done that or anything. Ahem.
Poor Crier. He just doesn’t get it, does he? Wouldn’t you just love to hear his ex’s side of the story?
Erica’s right… not that I’ve ever done that either.
I’m not a fan of being the one that brings up the talk. It usually fares better for me when it’s the guy.
But you also need to stay true to who you are. If you really want to know where you stand, ask. Otherwise it’s almost like you are not being yourself. That’s far worse than being alone.
Erica’s right… not that I’ve ever done that either.
I’m not a fan of being the one that brings up the talk. It usually fares better for me when it’s the guy.
But you also need to stay true to who you are. If you really want to know where you stand, ask. Otherwise it’s almost like you are not being yourself. That’s far worse than being alone.
I’m confused. You’re using his Match logins to gague whether he wants to get serious with you, yet you’re still logging in to Match? What if he sees that you’re logging in every day and takes that as a sign you don’t want to get serious with him? Why don’t you just put it out there and tell him you want to be exclusive? From what you’ve said of him, I think he likes you as much as you like him–maybe more, since he’s been taking some real risks lately.
Leah, You don’t have to login to Match to see when someone was last active. you just need to not sign in but go to the homepage…type in their profile name and bingo…instant visuals.
Now I’m not saying that I have done this…recently. I just know how to do it! LOL
Charming, it takes one to know one;)
i so wouldn’t have the guts to have the talk… and that whole paragraph on your thoughts bout the nurse was funny… you a stalker? no way!
I would chill on the talk. How long have you actually been seeing this guy? Enjoy the newness of the relationship. When “the talk” is right it will just happen naturally and you won’t have to worry about it.
Gawd, I know what you mean. It takes forever. And when it doesn’t, you don’t trust it. At least, I don’t. Bah.
Vixen: Thanks for clarifying, but still…the MIND GAMES!
I can only imagine that while Charming is still pretending to be interested in other guys because she doesn’t want to admit to the Nurse that she likes him as much as she does, meanwhile the Nurse is doing the same thing, when what they both really want is to be exclusive. Someone needs to be brave and say something or else things will fizzle and when they run into each other twenty years from now their conversation will go: “I liked you SOOOO much but I didn’t think you liked me back!” “No way! I was totally into you but I didn’t think you were into me!” And that’s not romantic and tragic, it’s just sad and dumb.
We wish the crier would get the hint.
And can’t wait to hear about The Talk
Have the talk! Have the talk! And if all goes well, just agree you’ll both cancel your Match accounts!!
I was chicken and didn’t want to seem pushy, so I never had the talk. Three months into it, though, and I wondered what was going on, because I just couldn’t tell how he felt about me. So I searched him on Match without logging in. He’d been active just hours before he arrived with the first present he’d ever bought me! And I figured I was a crazy stalker, so I didn’t say a thing. Maybe he was just curious, or saying “no thanks” to someone else.
Yeah, right. The next time I see him, he asks if I mind having an “open relationship.” So I dumped him.
WHY am I so dumb? I keep thinking that I’m being cool and easygoing and honest and trusting.
SUCKER, that’s what I am.
Have the talk. Get it out in the open, and get it over with. It’s better that way.
The Talk is premature. You’re smothering him for God’s sake, and that’s a great way to blow it early on.
-Dick
How could I possibly be smothering someone who I haven’t gone out with in a week, Dick? Are you insinuating that by virtue of me THINKING about him or SPEAKING to him or, dear God, sending him a text message I am smothering him?
Because if that is smothering, I should just get a cat and a subscription to Playgirl and leave dating behind me …
yeah, things move slowly, but in the long run it’s better that they do. after all, it’s when things move too quickly that you stop two months later, look back, and think “my god. i don’t even know this person.”
so take your time. when it works out, it works out. just be yourself and everything will take care of itself.