Something Oaky with a Hint of Adorable February 21, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Daydreams.trackback
I have an insane Crush From Afar on the Wine and Beer Guy from the Fancy Mega Grocery store near my house. (Lots of capitalization there!)
Crush From Afar? Pretty self-explanatory.
He seems to be close to my age, he dresses very casually and has a stocky build that makes me want to tackle him and demand cuddling on the ground right next to the olive bar. (He also has a beard and great eyes.) He used to be the cheese guy, and I only know this because the cheese people wear faux chef jackets, I think. Now he seems to work exclusively with the wines and beers. I always see him stocking, organizing and talking to people, pointing to wines or discussing ales.
I watch from a safe distance, making excuses as to why I don’t make conversation. My hair is a mess. I’m not wearing make-up. My work clothes are rumpled. I already have selected my alcoholic purchases for the night.
And then I sneak my single person-sized cart around the cheese case and over to the breads so I can peak at him again. He just looks so relaxed, well-mannered, friendly, funny and easy to talk to. (Yes, these are things I can tell just by looking at him while pretending to be comparing flat bread.)
I have this far-fetched plan about our imaginary courtship. I will keep a particularly challenging recipe in my purse and wait until I am certain that I look fantastic – like one a day when I’ve let my hair dry in soft waves, when my eyebrows are perfectly arched and my make-up is subtle, yet outstanding, and I am wearing a flowing casual skirt with a body-hugging tee and sandals – and I gather the ingredients and fancy cheeses and seek his counsel for a mid-priced wine to pair with my fancy dish. And he spends a half-hour explaining what wine goes with Taleggio cheese or maybe earthy wild mushrooms and I listen intently and make witty wine comments. And then as I am walking away, he follows me to the pastry area and says, “I’m sorry, I can’t let you leave. This is so unprofessional of me, but you are breathtaking and intelligent. And I see you each time you come shopping and pray that you’ll ask me my opinion on a good wine and I just can’t let you leave this store without asking for your number.”
And then we get married. And go on a wine tour of Europe for our honeymoon and have a dog we name Porter because he is the color of our favorite beer. The end.
Of course, this will never come to be. Because I will never speak to him. Ever. Talking to him would only ruin my perfect fantasy of him – he will undoubtedly not be as charming and insightful in real life and then I’ll be disappointed each time I stroll through the beer section, lingering just a minute too long in hopes of catching his eye.
A girl can dream.
That made me smile.
I love your blog, and have spent the last 2 days reading every post. Now, don’t think I’m a stalker, I just got addicted to your great voice and bold attitude.
I’m a blogger too, but as of yesterday, I only had a personal blog that I shared with my closest friends. After reading your blog, I was inspired to create a published blog that might actually have readers who I don’t know. I followed your example and made it anonymous.
Who knows what will happen with my blog, but I wanted to let you know that your writing inspired me.
Oh, and just in case you’re interested, my blog is:
http://bellasboldbrilliantblog.wordpress.com/
I think there’s something so restorative about crushes from afar. It’s a nice, safe way to feel great about men again when you’ve had your spirit trampled by one (or more) of ‘em recently.
I have a crush from afar at the moment too, a cute guy I’ve been eyeing up at my 7.15am Tuesday morning spinning class. I’m thinking about trying to snag the bike beside him next week, but I’m a little wary - I’ve had a spinning class crush before and that didn’t go so well. It was on the instructor and I later found out that he’s very, um, gay…
I loved this post.
“And then I sneak my single person-sized cart around the cheese case and over to the breads so I can peak at him again.”
That sounds really sad. Charming but sad.
Why don’t you just throw caution to the wind - dress up in heels, a short skirt and plenty of lippy and ask him round for a beer-fuelled romp?
You go girl.
I love crushes from afar because they’re the best. And every single time I’ve thrown caution to the wind (note, Harry, the next part), I’ve been hugely disappointed (although I suspect it’s not so much abt the guy being disappointing but the fact that I built him up in my head into such perfection that even George Clooney would fail). Anyway, the last Crush From Afar I had was someone I saw at a new gym (I was trying one out for 2 weeks)- I spent the first three days swooning from afar, the next week wondering why he wasn’t there (especially since I put on new workout clothes to, um, impress him) and then on the very last day when my gym pass was to run out, he reappeared. I spent most of that last day avoiding his eye, but he caught me on the stairs and actually started a conversation without any move on my part. The sad part was the minute he spoke, I completely lost interest (to be perfectly fussy, I didn’t like his accent). The funny part was he was trying to keep up conversation while I was trying to run away.
Now if I’d never had that conversation, he’d still be a returning star in my head’s soap opera. Instead, I lost a perfectly hunky actor. . sigh. .
Terrific post- and describes perfectly how I feel about the guy who works at and manages my local gourmet pizza place. He always says hello. He complimented me on t-shirt I wore once. He makes cute faces to all the babies who come in with their stroller set Mommies. He has great taste in music and seems to really enjoy his job.
And yet…I can’t seem (after YEARS of finding him crushworthy) to say anything to him beyond “One slice of pepperoni, please.”.
But perhaps it’s because I don’t want to ruin my little fantasy…The one where he asks me to come manage the shop with him and we invent new kinds of pizza that get written up in Gourmet and have cute babies who wear little mini-Erykah Badu t-shirts and cool sneakers?
Sigh.
Great Post! I like to fantasize too, though lately I need a new muse. Maybe I will check out the cute guys working at the Whole Foods by my house
My el (train) crush from afar for 2 months this past summer is now my live-in boyfriend. I couldn’t be happier. Just sayin…
I don’t know about the “you must look fab” deal. It seems that I get more guys flirting when I’m not looking my best. Those days I get all dolled up and think I look fab - no one notices then days like to today that I rushed to get ready in 30 min, hair is flat and I’m feeling like shit 2 guys flirt with me - what the hell is up with that??
I wish I had a crush guy like that. Someone who just makes you “awwww” when you see them. They never live up to the fantasy so I have to agree with you - just keep him the crush guy.
I had a crush from with a guy I saw on the train all the time. I finally said ‘Hi’ one day and found out that he had a voice that would make Fran Drescher sound like a symphony… Eek! Keep the fantasy … Reality is disappointing.
Ohhhh, you should totally ask him for a wine recommendation! AND you can throw out some wine terms about what you like. While smiling! He’ll love your smile.
Excellent fantasy!
I had a fedexer fantasy for a while…
Then I realized he had a hidden girlfriend and the fantasy fizzled!
I’ve read your blog ever since Alyssa from Glamour mentioned it, but today I had to comment. You have such a wonderful writing voice and your stories mirror my single little life to a frightening degree. Nice to know others are going through the same thing!
I have a crush from afar too. It’s somebody that I see every night at a meeting that we both attend. He finally sat next to me two nights ago and we chit chatted. I swear my heartbeat was racing for that whole hour during the meeting. It was crowded and our knees were touching almost the whole time. I’ve been thinkingg about him even MORE since that night. UGH. I’m going to flirt shamelessly with him until he either asks me out or gets a restraining order agasint me. hehe
You are the most adorable thing ever.I love reading your stuff, and you remind me so much of myself. (although,Im convinced you are older,so, maybe I remind myself of you? whichever.)
I have an afar crush too.Hes a boy I see on the train every once in a while.He looks so intellectual with his scarf and pea coat. Slim and tall and just completely breathtaking.
And we get on and get off at the same stop, meaning he lives within 5 minutes of my house.
And I do NOT have the guts to say two words to him.Its horrible.But catching him looking at me every once in a while gives me a smile that lasts all day.
hmmm this is just great righting and i feel good and bad reading this article well wish u the best of luck….
wow! That s sweet. I dont have any such crush now. But its amazing to have those “quiet glances”.
You should never ask him out. As suspected, the chances are .. he s not so awesome.. as we build up in mind. I think i remember my stronest one in standard 7th . He was second ranker in class. I used to be first ranker. We would chat like hell. and not stop. I remember being awake whole night, becuase i am too restless waiting to show my new school bag to him.
Thats childish. but the intesity was too strong. It all came to pleasent memories, when he told me while leaveing school. He always skipped to answer one question in all exams. Because he didnot want to see me disappointed loosing my first rank to him.
“So prophetic” and so mean of me! But that made me cherish him forever.
A dog named “Porter”! That’s great!
Enjoy your fantasy, dear; my vote is with leaving him in the world of eye-candy.
I’ve been married, had girlfriends, crushes… and now hope someday to be a priest, or monk. Yet I’m still a man, and enjoy the beauty of look and personality in the women who work near me, live near me, commute alongside me… without ever making a gesture more overt than shoveling their walk, or giving them a smile in the hallway.
He’s background music; intriguing kitsch on a restaurant-wall; sunset/rise behind the garden on the way to work; the gilded frame to every wonderful day. Enjoy!
I wonder what his voice sounds like ..
Sauternes goes great with taleggio. Try a Château d’Yquem… maybe a 1990 or a 2001, they’re both great vintages. If you don’t want to shell out that kind of cash, try a Chateau Hallet. 2003 is a decent year.
So I’m not the wine guy, but I’m happy to help.
Obviously, this is where you leave the guys in the dust. Only 1 commentator above (CJ!) actually suggested approaching the guy. Seems perfectly sensible to most guys. But we’ll just never completely understand this well dressed but self defeating and negative thinking claptrap: “Of course, this will never come to be. Because I will never speak to him. Ever. Talking to him would only ruin my perfect fantasy of him – he will undoubtedly not be as charming and insightful in real life and then I’ll be disappointed…”. Yeah, so why bother, right?
He’s the beer & wine guy. He’s There to provide YOU service. Ask away ladies! That’s HIS JOB! He’s there to please. To help you in your search, selection & purchase. He used to be the cheese guy. Doing the same thing. Not a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Not a French or Italian Count. Not the heir to the throne in an EC country. Most likely Not a rock star. He’s going to like you. You want to know why? Because the next time you see him you are going to ask him the best wine or beer to go with dinner. You can even show him what’s for dinner. (You might even make it interesting!) Then you’ll ask him the key question that he waits all day to hear; ‘What’s that taste like?’ If he’s any good at all, (and a former cheese guy might be very good here), that’ll get you an exclusive engagement for a charming 10-15 min. discussion on something he’s passionate about. That’s why he’ll find you attractive, fascinating and intriguing. Done & done. Why is this like a Vet pulling teeth from one of the favorite zoo exhibits? Basic stuff, really!
You either enjoy more of your fantasies in old age (we mean advanced old age here folks), or enjoy more of reality. The grandkids and growing old with someone or something. Fantasies can be awfully well described and artfully arranged. They pale by comparison to most of real life, if you’re doing it right, or even not! Cheers & Good Luck on the next beer/wine purchase! ‘VJ’
Wonderful Blog
You should compile this into a Book.U got the flair.
Keep up the good work.
Wonderful Blog
You should compile this into a Book.U got the flair.
Keep up the good work.
Adding 2 Blogroll.
Hi there,
I have to say having just started my own blog I am totally inspired by yours.
If you get a chance check out my latest post and feel free to leave a comment.
Kudos to you for starting your own blob website.
It’s fun to have a crush. Sometimes they’re even more fun than making them a reality
CC
if you are in the same city in the south, which seems sort of likely, i know who you are talking about and have even been at a party with him. he’s adorable.
if not, then, even better, there’s 2.
cheers.
Natalie — Not in Atlanta. Sorry! The good news is that he apparently has a twin.
You DO need to consider that he quite possible earns minimum wage…not that there is anything wrong with that, but that trip might be out…
Wow, alternate lives, similar subjects. I just posted a similar story on my blog, and then stopped by and realized I’m not the only one hungry for more than just a good meal at the local supermarket.
i’m addicted. I love the way you write as if we’re having a conversation. I could “listen to you talk” all night. Thanks!