Not in a Million Trillion Bazillion Years, Even if He Were the Last Man in the Whole Wide World April 23, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Dating, Men.trackback
Saturday night (or early Sunday morning), I returned from a night of beers with Southern Belle and friends at sports bar, not quite tired enough to sleep, but not in the mood to cook up any early-morning mischief.
I put “Little Miss Sunshine” into the DVD player, climbed into bed and rolled onto my side. I pulled my laptop right next to me – I am in the habit of checking all of my e-mail accounts before I go to bed and then again first thing when I wake up in the morning, which is a testament both to my sad over-dependence on technology and also my clear lack of alternate late night and early morning extracurricular activities as of late.
I was signed onto a chat program, which I didn’t notice until I heard the Ding! and received a late-night message from The Nurse, who apparently took a break from his busy schedule of drinking dirt cheap beer in a crappy bar, balancing multiple girlfriends and impregnating women to virtually drop in on me for the evening.
Now, I typically withhold judgment on Drunk, Late Night Messaging of the Ex and the like. Lord knows I’ve been an offender, multiple times with The Nurse, in fact. (Before I knew about the pregnant girlfriend, obviously.) We get lonely, we get weepy and even the smallest bed seems far too empty on a given night so we reach out, hoping to feel familiar fingertips to reach back.
That said, I have little sympathy for a man with a girlfriend, a pregnant one, no less, contacting me with less-than-virtuous intentions at a less-than-appropriate time. Clearly frustrated and looking for some sort of amusement from me, 90 percent of The Nurse’s IMs were veiled attempts to get some action. From mentioning a certain act and pointing out that it was one his girlfriend doesn’t enjoy to asking if I still lived in the same apartment – when I pressed out about why he cared, he responded only, “Curiosity” – he was on the prowl.
I didn’t ask about his girlfriend, his soon-to-be-born child, his job, his life or do much more than respond in short phrases. I should have told him to take his crazy libido and wandering hands and shove them so far up his posterior that he turned himself inside out, but I didn’t. I am, after all, the scorned one in this situation and it was slightly gratifying to think of him trying to elicit a late-night invitation from me and being shot down each time. I am only human, immature warts and all.
I bid him goodnight and said that I was going to put my tired, half-drunk self to bed.
“Well, tell your half-drunk self goodnight, then.”
His attempts to be cute simply infuriated me, and then I couldn’t really sleep, which is so unfair because I’ve lost far too many moments of sleep over this man who constantly proves himself to be useless and annoying with a mind that has only a single track – to someone’s bed. Quickly.
Sounds like a fun time, truth be told. At least you can see the contact for what it was. That’s the important thing.
As far as drunken dialing, I don’t do it. I’ve only done it on a few occassions, and only with my baby momma. Even then it wasn’t really to look for sex or try to win her back. Just needed a friend, and she is the best one I have.
And yeah, the “Well, tell your half-drunk self goodnight, then.” could definately be taken as some kind of underhanded remark. Tone is hard to tell ont he interwebz, though.
Hope you slept well, at least. And Little Miss Sunshine was a great movie.
No this sounds like a miserable waste of time. For all concerned. Picking up divorced dads at the local country club after a round of golf might be more productive. Only a few of them will have ‘baby momma['s]‘. Nursie needs to be flushed out with the tide. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
The ‘Cheers & Good Luck’ doesn’t take away the sting…
Seriously, I know a guy like The Nurse. Normally guys like these are a dime a dozen, but what makes this guy special is he has cancer. He has cancer and still is:
” …. drinking dirt cheap beer in a crappy bar, balancing multiple girlfriends”
What an idiot…
Oof I am in such a bad habit of texting late night/drunk..tis bad. He’s a jackass for doing that to you and also to his girlfriend and unborn baby!
Cut the loser off completely. He doesn’t deserve a minute of your time. You have no ties to him. The unfortunate current girlfriend does - for life.
And now you’ve gotten to see his true self, and what might have been if he hadn’t blown you off. Sometimes things really do work out for the best, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first.
It may be time to block his userID and erase his name from your chat program…
The beauty of chat programs is that they give you the ability to block someone
If it truly bothers you that he would try a “booty IM”, block his ass. You already gave him enough of your time and effort when he hurt you, he doesn’t deserve to interrupt your sleep and take any more of your thoughts.
You did everything right. I wouldn’t waste any more mind energy on him.
This guy is LAME.
Blech. Been there, done that, and it sucks every time.
At least you knew what he was doing and he didn’t manage to “charm” his way into your drunken bed. I’m sure the whole baby on they way thing helped. Men are such pigs.
sounds like you just need to block his im’s. then he can’t bother you anymore.
Luckily, not all men are pigs; I have a great one myself! But Nurse is slime and I’m with the other commentators, block his ass!
Grrrrr…. The Nurse is a shit. I’m with Joebec. Block his IMs.
Surely a medical professional (or is it still almost professional?) would understand cause and effect… doesn’t he recall how he got himself into this trouble in the first place?
The Nurse is such an ass! I know what you mean about the satisfaction that comes from being the one to finally reject him! Unfortunately, it doesn’t take away the hurt does it?
Shhhh! No hurt speak… we only rejoice in the cockblock.
GO CBS GO! That doesn’t sound right…
I love you Charming… you’re so honest and I can tell you we’ve all been there. xxx
Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!
Oh, Charming - BLOCK THAT NURSE! YESTERDAY!
Umm I’ll be the first to call for a Turing Test of the prior post. I’m not quite sure it would pass. In any case it’s not exactly speaking to the question/issue at hand. At least not directly. And for Wailin, I think most if not all of the subsequent commentators agreed with my assessment. Not that that matters very much. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
This is why I had to set my IMs not to come on when I turn on my computer. I have to physically boot them up - something I’m rarely willing to do when I’m drunk or otherwise mentally incapable of having an adult conversation that doesn’t involve personal proclivities for various acts of sexual congress.
Because Lord knows, I can resist anything but temptation.
I’m realizing there are just too many men out there like this.
kick him in the nards on his way out. he’s a dick and you can do better.
No VJ, I meant the “Baby momma” guys thing. I only call my ex that jokingly, because she laughs everytime. You’d think after a while she’d learn, especially after me telling her, I only say it because she laughs. lol
And yeah, I know a lot of guys like that. Sad really, since it can make the rest of us look bad.
Men like the Nurse (and many of the guys I’ve dated in the last few years) make me incredibly happy to be single.
Seriously - dump his ass. Like, last week! You are honest, hilarious, and real…very refreshing. You can do light years better