On Men June 28, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Men, Random Musings on Life, Single Girl Cliches.trackback
Because I am quick to bemoan my lack of a suitable mate, I have gained somewhat of a reputation as being, well, one of those women who might just go get herself a sperm donor and take matters into her own hands. My friends know that I am a true blue lover of men, but they like to tease me just the same. I am an easy target because I am relatively loud-mouthed and free with my opinions. (Not me. No, never.)
As a joke a friend e-mailed me this column from MSNBC. “Will science render men unnecessary?” it asks. Her note was to joke that I didn’t really need a man because of advances in technology and biology that could create sperm from bone marrow. She was being totally silly, of course.
The author makes a good point – until the act of making a baby suddenly becomes less fun than it actually is, most people will employ the traditional method of procreating over the new-fangled way every time.
But truth is that there are so many other things about men that make them better than the alternative. If there weren’t I think I’d given up years ago. As would we all.
I complain a lot about what is wrong with the male of the species, which I do not pretend to understand. And maybe that is really for the best. Some things, like why they don’t call, are best left unexplained. Because, I tell myself, I really will appreciate the Good Ones when they come along.
So, in honor of those Good Ones, who don’t deserve the wrath they sometimes get, who are just as fed up as I am, who really will call, I present, in no particular order, Things I Love About Men:
- Their smell, sometimes musky, sometimes dirty, always irresistible.
- Long conversations about nothing over beers.
- Hands that wrap around mine and make them look downright tiny in comparison.
- How confused they are by really fancy high heels.
- That cute butt wiggle they do when you’re alone with them and teasingly comment on their backsides. The one where they rock their hips back and forth like a three year old imitating a chicken or a duck. So aware of how cute they really are.
- The excited looks they get when they’ve created something or built something or done something that they really want to share. Like a child or an excited puppy.
- Boxer briefs.
- Their odd loyalty to their pals.
- Ties.
- How easy it is to distract them.
- Their hands on the small of my back, just to let me know that they are there.
- How they take me seriously when I ask, “Is football the one with the touchdowns?” (Yes, I know. I’m being patronizing. But thanks for so sweetly explaining the game I’ve been watching since I was knee high to a grasshopper.)
- Deep voices.
- That flipping thing my stomach does when the right man is walking toward me.
- How easily I fit into the space next to them, in between their arms and bodies.
- When they reassuringly rub my knee under the table.
- Their inability to maintain a poker face when you they see you dressed up in a hot little dress.
- Their insistence that seeing you in sweats and a tank top is just as sexy. Even though they’re lying.
- How good my hands feel in their hair. (Or rubbing their bald heads.)
I could go on. Heck, I should go on.
Later.
For now, I think it is safe to say that when asked, “Will science render men unnecessary?” my answer is simply, “I hope not.”
Awwwww. So you’re not just bitter then?
Goes to show, it really is the little things, doesn’t it? Big things matter too, but the little things are what make it worth it.
My biggest thing I like about women is their laugh. Especially when the joke is terrible, but they do it anyways.
The sexiest thing a woman has ever said to me? “I miss your stink.” Dumb as it is, that made me smile for days.
CBS, I really needed this- thanks. Was starting to get cynical over the use of men and you just reminded me!
The confusion about the high heels revolves around the idea that a woman would spend that much money on something that can’t possibly be comfortable to wear.
Loyalty is a wonderful virtue, sadly too rare these days; it’s never ever odd, though.
Sweats and a tank top can be incredibly sexy. We’re not lying.
The ironic thing is, many couples when they actually start trying to make babies, the whole “fun” part of it goes out the window thanks to the desperation and obsession with trying to get timing right, etc.
I haven’t commented in a while because I am back on Match.com and don’t know whether to laugh or cry half the time but this post was FABULOUS and so true!
I too cannot deny the love of my hand always fitting so delicately inside of theirs. Cheers!
You forgot the whole taking-credit-for-something-until-we-find-out-it-produced-evidence-that-we’re-not-completely-necessary thing.
That’s kinda cute, right?
Thanks, Charming. With so many blogs out there consistently telling us how horrible we are, it’s nice to see a post that points out that some of us, yes, actually are nice guys with good qualities. I should have the list printed on a t-shirt.
Oh, and “Sir” is right: the tank top & sweats? We’re not lying about that one.
“The excited looks they get when they’ve created something or built something or done something that they really want to share. Like a child or an excited puppy.”
Comparing men to puppies and children goes a long way to explaining why they don’t stick around.
Hey Charming,
I’d like to add the following, if I may:
* Putting off enough heat to keep me warm in the coldest of winter nights and not complaining when I wrap myself around them like a thermal blanket, even though they are sweating to death because of it!
*Biting the back of my neck and then grinning like a kid in a candy shop when I break out in goosebumps
*Telling me how adorable I look in nothing but his white dress shirt while I putter around the house on a lazy Sunday morning
*Hugging me so tightly that my feet come off the floor making me feel dainty in his embrace
“Like a child or an excited puppy.”
I know you meant this in an endearing way, but regardless, it comes off as completely condescending.
“Like a child or an excited puppy.”–I think the simile works perfectly well. That’s exactly the way that many men–including myself–get in those situations.
Sounds really familar to me…check out my post about satisfing moments… I wrote a couple days ago!!
I do like the post Charming, and I know I’ve stolen ideas and topics from you…not to say you stole this-
ditto on the sweats, t-shirt, my dress shirt, glasses, ponytails, worn jeans, baseball hats…I could go on and on…we like those dresses and makeup and hair done too though.
And no we are not puppies or childern. Well… sometimes childern.
What a great post, and a great reminder of why we’re doing this whole dating game. Yum.
I hope not too! I so love men and miss them when they are away for too long. If I just could find the right one and then make him stay! ; )
Thanks for sharing, it made me connect with all the great things men bring with them to a relationship.
Those are all the reasons why I love men so much!!!!!
Big fan of the blog. I really liked this post, and — as a guy — I just wanted to thank you for it. It gives me hope that there are awesome women out there.
that list pretty much sums it up - the easy distraction thing is a personal fave and ditto to CinnKitty about keeping me warm and not complaining about my ice-block feet on his belly
Yup. Those are at least some of the reasons why I keep looking and hoping. Even though I’ve given up on the match.com thing now…for a while at least.
I love their hand on the small of my back too… so comforting and reassuring sometimes.
I’m with everybody here- sometimes it’s hard to remember the good things about men when they do such terribly horrible things. One of my favorites was how an old boyfriend would read GQ trying to get tips for dressing, and then would look so hopeful when asking me for my opinion.
And no, I don’t think the comparison to puppies and children was off- I’ve seen plenty of men in exactly that state.
Ok, I was going to amend this to the post, but I decided against:
Apparently some people were offended by this item on the list that compares the excited looks on men’s faces when they want to show off something they built, etc. to those of a “child” or “excited puppy.” First off, I’d ask you to actually study this look the next time your are faced with it, because you will see that it is quite similar to the look of an excited child or puppy. At least in my experience and you’re welcome to have yours. But this is my blog, so we go with what I’ve experienced, mmmkay?
And I didn’t say that men WERE children or puppies, I said that this particular look, which I love by the way, was similar to that of a child or puppy. I didn’t mean it to be condescending at all. I like it when a guy is comfortable enough around me to drop his “manly” façade or poker face when he gets excited about something that he’s done or made. (Maybe fixing something, maybe building something, maybe cleaning something, etc.) It means he is proud of what he’s done and he can’t wait to show me.
Also, I don’t say, “Hey! You look like a two-year-old! Or Lassie when she was young!” when faced with the look. I giggle and give kisses. (Which I guess is what I do when my parents’ dog does something cute, but who, human or otherwise, doesn’t like kisses? Also, I have a strict policy of only tongue kissing adult human males. So it isn’t exactly the same.)
Hell, have you people ever SEEN an excited puppy or child? Seriously, it is awesome. There is wiggling and barking/yelling, jumping up and down, waving of arms and tails and looks of sheer joy. I’m not saying that men wriggle around like small animals and pee on your foot, just that I’ve seen this look of wide-eyed excitement and sheer joy in their faces when they’re proud of their work or doing something they love. And it, too, is awesome.
I actually envy children and their carefree nature. Not perverted by the grind of daily life and its many bores. And I envy adults who can slip into that same mindset sometimes because it is something I struggle with. This weekend I spent so much time errand-running and straightening up and getting ready to go sit by the pool for an afternoon of relaxation that by the time I was ready to sit by the pool, it was 2 p.m. and there was a major summer storm going on. If I had just stopped caring so much about my silly adult things, all of which could have waited, I would have actually had my fun before the rain. (Instead of pitching a temper tantrum in my apartment and sulking off to my bedroom.)
And shouldn’t you also find the description of the adorable butt wiggle I love so condescending as well? I mean, I did say that men “rock their hips back and forth like a three year old imitating a chicken or a duck.” What, you men don’t mind be compared to a toddler imitating a small feathered animal? So weird.
Alas, if you are still offended by the “like a child or an excited puppy” comparison, I apologize from the deepest depths of my puppy-and-child-loving heart and promise that I will always look as you as strong, dirty brutes with bulging biceps. (Better?)
Maverick — I actually hadn’t read your post when I wrote this, sorry. (I read it after you commented because I wanted to see what I’d allegedly “borrowed” from and I guess we could all make lists of things we like?
I try to, as much as possible, note when another blogger has inspired a post. Just the nice thing to do. But this post was inspired entirely by the MSNBC article I linked to. Sorry!
You forgot one:
They can reach the stuff on the top shelf.
What an amazing post. Many of the same things I love about men.
Thanks for making the list to remind me why we need men!
Great, great list!!
Charming,
On your list there were several things I could have chosen to object to. The butt wiggle, puppies and children, smelling dirty, any one of those can be substituted and my point would remain basically unchanged. Reading your list of things you like about men it reads like a list of qualities of a thing, not a person. The take away for me, from this post and other parts of your blog is that you may like men, you may love men, but you do not respect us as equals. A little piece of you is always looking down on us.
So, no simply referring to us a dirty brutes with biceps rather than excited children would not be an improvement.
aww… this just bout makes me forget how annoying men can be at times… and makes me remember why despite everything, i still like men…
I love that you wrote a post about how great men are, and you still got nitpicked to death by guys who think they have it ruuuufff. You’ll never win with the trolls.
But I totally believe them on the sweats and tank thing. From what I’ve seen, it is quite true.
Hetherjw –
Wow. If you get annoyed that I comment on how men smell and because I like a silly dance several of the men I’ve dated have done, well, I’m not sure what to say. Smell, sight, sound – all of these things are part of chemistry and attraction. And I wasn’t writing a list of “Qualities of My Future Husband” or “Why I Am 100 Percent In Love With Guy X.” Because then I might have been a touch more specific. (Probably not though. Who wants to talk to guys! Boring! I just want to smell them, obvs.)
Also, I looooove your idea of looking at men like things! I’m going to start treating mine like I treat my toaster!
(And, for the sarcasm-challenged, yes, I am joking about the toaster. Clearly my “thing” of choice would be a shoe.)
I happen to think that you’re wrong about me not thinking that men are my equals. But we can agree to disagree on that, I suppose.
And it is appropriate that you say that as little piece of me is always looking down on men, because when I read your recent comments, I feel like a little piece of YOU is always looking down on ME.
Funny how that works out, isn’t it?
Cheers,
Charming
Meh. Can’t make everybody happy, and people will take offense to anything. Personally, I know exactly what you’re talking about with the child like moments. It is a “Come see what I did! I’m so proud I want to show you!” moment, and I know I’m guilty of it.
I also don’t think you look at men as less than equals, just know they’re extremely different and quite incomprehensible. Just as women are for many men. Nothing wrong with that.
Then again, I’m one of your cheerleaders… in a completely manly way… that doesn’t make it sound any better does it? Such is life.
“And it is appropriate that you say that as little piece of me is always looking down on men, because when I read your recent comments, I feel like a little piece of YOU is always looking down on ME.
Funny how that works out, isn’t it?”
Yes. That is funny. Mostly because I am. And you are welcome to look down on me as much as you would like.
Dizzy, I am not a troll. I am a daily reader of CBS and a quite infrequent commenter. I don’t think that men have it “ruuuufff.” And I was not trying to nitpick Charming. Her blog simply says one thing to me about how she views men. Nothing further.
don’t be too sceptical about looking fetching in sweatpants. women don’t always have to be dressed up to look adorable. and, yes, are easily distracted. very.
Oh yes, I so miss gliding my hand around the back of their heads and sticking my fingers up through their hair at the base of their necks when kissing them. Though, I don’t really like it when they do that to me. (I’d rather they cup their hands around my chin and cheek when kissing me.) Hmmm…so nice…