Waxing poetic on the single life July 9, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Dating, Random Musings on Life, Single Girl Cliches, Weddings, Women.trackback
“So what are you doing this weekend?” My Waxer brushed my unkempt eyebrows with a small comb and, leaning in close to my face, examined my brow line to determine her starting point.
“Going to see a band with my girlfriends tonight,” I said, bracing for the shock as she painted warm wax beneath my left brow.
“Sounds like fun,” she said, pausing to concentrate as she rubbed the cloth strip over the wax. She firmly pulled the strip taut against my skin and then snapped her wrist back and out popped the errant hairs.
She touched her fingers to the freshly waxed patch of skin as I bit my lip – I’d rather have her wax my brows than constantly rely on my own plucking to remove the hair. But the first rip is always the deepest.
“Any special occasion?” She asked, applying a thin layer of warm wax to the top of my left brow.
“It is my friends’ birthday. She just got married and she wants a girls’ night,” I said, taking a deep breath and mentally reminding myself how pretty my shaped brows would be and how they would “just open my face right up.” (As my Waxer always exclaims.)
She tore off the second strip with a satisfying yank as I tried to hide my agony and continue telling her about my evening plans. Only three more swipes left, I thought.
“That will definitely be fun,” she said, proceeding to the right brow.
“It is nice that her husband lets her go out with the girls,” she said, pausing again to yank off the overgrowth beneath my right brow.
I bit down hard.
“Uh-huh,” I squeaked. “A lot of husbands or boyfriends get upset when you go out without them.”
Then she told me a story about a friend whose husband didn’t want her to go to a bachelorette party without him and insisted on picking her up at midnight.
“I could not put up with that at all,” she said, punctuating her sentence with a quick rip over my right brow.
“I couldn’t either,” I said. “And I’m thinking, if that’s what a marriage is, then no thank you, I’ll be single.”
“Right,” she said, rubbing wax in between my brows and yanking upward to remove the last of the remaining hairs.
She dropped the waxing strip and reached for her tweezers for a final touch up.
“And maybe this is why we’re still single,” I said as she handed me a mirror to inspect her handiwork.
“Looks good?” she asked.
“Perfect,” I nodded. “Just opens my face right up.”
I don’t know. I’ve always liked natural eyebrows on women. Well natural everything mostly. It may indeed ‘open up the face’, but the face that was there prior to treatment is still essentially the same. You’re either pleased with that or not. (Again, I like natural eye brows, even serious ones). But by now it’s a strange preference that probably makes me almost unsuitable for anyone save for elderly farm gals.
And again just to be contrary I’ll suggest that for most purposes there’s little wrong with suggesting to your wife that you’ll pick her up from the bachelorette party at midnight. You’ll scarcely find any kind of a true loving husband who’s completely satisfied with having his wife MIA from home after midnight & drinking and or in & around bars. It’s as simple as that. That may indeed sound strange & wholly foreign to folks, but it’s never the less true. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
Any guy that gets upset that his wife/girlfriend is wanting a girl’s night is an insecure sap. Just as they need guy’[s nights every so often to do their thing, girls need their girls nights, too. Any good, mature relationship will leave room for that.
Then you can always come back together afterwards and gossip about what each of your girl and guy friends. ; )
ps, VJ– I think there’s a difference between “suggesting” and “insisting.”
Rule #1 - NEVER talk about anything that could cause adverse emotional reactions in the person holding drippy, hot wax over any sensitve part of your body.
Yeah, VJ, you aren’t going to sell me on the whole idea that it is acceptable for a husband to refuse to let his wife go out without him. If it is every night until 4 a.m., then, yes, he should be upset. But a night out every now and again with friends or a weekend vacation with the girls? Totally fine and necessary. Just as it is totally fine and necessary for a man to have a night with the guys. Hell, a lot of couples I know look forward to spending an occasional night out without their spouse or boy/girlfriend. He’ll have guys night and she’ll have girls night. Or she’ll go out to dinner with the girls while he goes to Fantasy Football Draft. Again, not everyday, but enough so that they can maintain their outside friendships.
The only time someone I know’s boyfriend/husband has picked her up from a girl’s night is when he was the designated driver and picked all of us up to make sure we got home safely.
That’s funny every time I go get my eyebrows threaded my eyebrow lady asks me why I am still not married…what are you waiting for she asks in her cute accent, are there no guys in your community?? My reply is always “Just not the right one”…ugh…
I think the inherent mistrust in the situation (as well as the unconscious sexism) if the gender roles were reversed. What sorts of disparaging remarks would a man have to endure if his wife insisted on picking him up from a bachelor party at midnight?
I went to a men’s salon to get my hair cut one time and the stylist grabs my chin, pulls my face up to look at me and says “Good. You don’t need an eyebrow waxing.” I was relieved.
I like the salon experience. Besides the fact it’s a woman cutting my hair who has a clue what could look good on me besides the normal buzz or trim, the conversation is much better. lol
As far as nights out, I’ve always been okay with it. She just never really went out. Course, I didn’t either. I agree with CBS, unless it’s a constant late night thing I see no reason to be concerned.
God, I love getting my eyebrows waxed. I truly enjoy the way it feels. But then again, I’ve been pierced and tattooed, so I’m kind of into the whole pain-to-look-good, thing.
I’ve never been able to do the eyebrow waxing thing. The idea of having hot wax anywhere near my eyes just squicks me out. Me and my tweezers, we’re just fine here…
And on the other topic - one night I realized that I don’t have to talk to a single other person about what I’m eating for dinner if I don’t want to. Suddenly I felt free as a bird. And maybe that’s why I’m still single.
I am totally identify with the eyebrow waxing thing. I’m used to the pain, but I still wince a bit. I tweeze most of the time, but if I let the hair get too overgrown, then I have to wax. My brows would be WAY too bushy if I let them go natural!
As for the Girls/Boys Night Out thing, I agree with you: it’s so important for couples to maintain their separate friendships. Even though I have a boyfriend, I still get together occasionally with just my female friends.
show me a marriage where the two parties strip each other of their individuality and identity and i’ll show you a marriage that will fail.
i too discuss relationships with my waxer…what a coincedence!!!
Cajun Boy — NYC has made you soft. True Cajun men discuss manly things like hunting and football with their waxers.
Yep guy waxers and all the other folks who can’t read plain English. Let’s take this from the top shall we?
I said “And again just to be contrary Ill suggest that for most purposes there’s little wrong with suggesting to your wife that you’ll pick her up from the bachelorette party at midnight.”
Yep. I said it. Not Insist. Just that there’s “little wrong with Suggesting to your Wife that you’ll pick her up from the bachelorette party at midnight.” [Emphasis Not in the original].
Not a regular ‘gals/guys’ night out. Again just ‘the bachelorette party’. Yes, that IS different.
And No I’m not trying to “sell me [anyone] on the whole idea that it is acceptable for a husband to refuse to let his wife go out without him.” I didn’t say that. Nor even ‘get[ing] upset that his wife/girlfriend is wanting a girl’s night’. Again that’s expanding what I said into something else entirely.
And I well knew that this ‘may indeed sound strange & wholly foreign to folks’ here. Most of the audience has never been married I’m betting. But folks, this has very little to do with the wholly necessary object of ‘maintaining their separate friendships’, or the still sillier thoughts of stripping of any ‘individuality and identity’ from anyone.
I’ll further mystify the crowd and dare to suggest that it’s part of the shape of what love looks like. Again, I’m almost certain to be misunderstood there too. So be it. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
“little wrong with Suggesting to your Wife that you’ll pick her up from the bachelorette party at midnight.”
Re-read what I wrote: “a friend whose husband didn’t want her to go to a bachelorette party without him and insisted on picking her up at midnight.”
He didn’t SUGGEST that she come home at midnight, they bartered so that she would be able to go. And yes there is A LOT wrong with refusing to let your adult wife go out without having a curfew. And I understand that you didn’t say that, but there isn’t so much of a jump from what I wrote happened and what you’re arguing is okay.
As notfainthearted noted — there is just an inherent mistrust and sexism in this situation. I doubt the same guy would agree to have his wife pick him up at midnight from a Bachelor party. Would men be okay if their wives insisted on tagging along to guys’ weekends hunting or fishing? Or when they’re golfing with their buddies? Probably not.
And I don’t see the difference between a Bachelorette party and a Girls Night Out. If you trust your spouse, you shouldn’t care that they go out with friends without you on occasion.
No C, There’s a Big difference between a Bachelorette/Bachelor party and a simple Girls/Guys Night Out. I’m not going to explain it to you much, but let’s just say, it’s a unique special occasion that people are known to do incredibly stupid things before, during & after. I’m not going to defend this particular guy pal either. No one has a curfew in my house, but We really should know some basic things. Where you are. Where you expect to be for what simple duration, with whom and when you expect to depart & return. Not hour by hour tracking mind you, but some sense of adequate information for outings & trips. And yes, any professional hunting & fishing party almost anywhere would require the same information from you. Less out of a fear of ‘over nannying anyone’ and more out of a basic concern for safety. Again not from any attitude of mistrust, but the very real & adult concern over when & where to start looking for missing family members.
That may sound like a bit much to most, but it’s a simple and basic act of care & concern. Yes parents do this. Yes husbands do this, as well as wives. It often has little to do with trust issues, and more about simple avoidance or mitigation of known hazards. And no, I don’t expect to be understood on that one either. Cheers, ‘VJ’
you’re so right. somebody give me my balls back.
“it’s a unique special occasion that people are known to do incredibly stupid things before, during & after.” If you were worried your wife would do something that stupid on any occassion (as bad as what you are making the imagined thing seem to be) than there are much deeper issues, and it is indeed a trust issue. Yes, it’s caring, but it’s also over the top “OMFG WHAT IF SHE DOES THIS THAT I HEARD GOES ON” worrying. Not that you said it’s a trust thing. This addresses the trust issue we’ve all apparently been misled into talking about, by your words of course. Then again, you have now referenced to situations with two different issues.
That’s an itinerary for the night there, and what happens if there’s a deviation from that? You start freaking out? Not a fun time. Treating a spouse like you treat you child is not exactly sound advice either, in my opinion. I understand fully what you’re saying, VJ, but don’t agree that all that information is necessary. Nor is suggesting “I’ll pick you up at midnight” because with that I would expect my face wiped clean with spit and possibly a piece of candy from the bottom of the purse of someone I can only assume is my grandmother. : /
And, pro hunting? Is it a spectator sport, cause I’m not sure how I feel about that. BAMBI!! NOOOOOOOOOO!
I never said that people shouldn’t tell their spouses what they are doing. I think sharing that basic information is important. VJ, there is a big difference between telling someone they can’t go somewhere or giving them a curfew and asking for information about where they’re going. You know that. And you know I never suggested that a wife not tell her husband WHERE she is going or WHAT she is doing.
Also, if you trust your spouse, there isn’t a difference between them going to a church bingo night or going to a bachelorette party. And maybe I’m just lame, but I’ve never been to a bachelorette party that was scandalous at all. Maybe some dancing, maybe some talk about sex, but never anything beyond that. (Of course, all of my friends love their spouses and truly wanted to get married, so the bachelorette party was mostly just an excuse to go out. Also, I don’t know too many women who really get excited by male exotic dancers. I suspect that if you don’t truly value your relationship or didn’t truly want to get married, it would be easy to slip up and sleep with a stripper or something. I guess.)
Oh man… I could never put up with a guy who doesn’t like me to have my own girls nights out… BUT I have known friends who married this type. What control freaks those men are! Ugh.
Not that that’s what VJ was saying at all.
Like I said previously, I’m not defending this particular nimrod here. Just that Bachelorette/Bachelor parties Are different. Do a google on the topic, and you’ll be surprised to learn just how different. [And note I included both sides for a reason]. Again I stated that for myself, no one has a curfew, and I’m really not the type to try and forbid my spouse from doing much. In my household it has literally nothing to do with trust issues, and much more to do with basic caring & simple logistics. Again all things that most married adults do fairly naturally & know about as ‘common sense’. I know it sounds really strange & foreign to many here.
So again, I’m not defending keeping the spouse locked up in a cage in the basement. Or not allowing friends, or gals/guys nights out, weekends alone, your own space, identity, individuality, etc. I could work up a longer list, but as long as we discuss the issue, I imagine I’ll get accused of more dastardly things.
Like I said, I don’t know the guy, but I can understand why for most married folks saying that ‘there’s little wrong with suggesting to your wife that you’ll pick her up from the bachelorette party at midnight’ would not create the hassles that folks imagine it would here. Really it wouldn’t. Not for most married people I know. Strange, I realize. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
If a man ever, EVER tells me I have a curfew, he can move right out of my life.
I gotta go to the waxer. Keep myself single and independent for a while.
Oy, VJ, you are sooo irritating, and why must you read every damn blog I read?? ;-P
Maybe VJ should get his own blog since he’s such an authority on everything!
Nah, I want VJ to stay. It is nice to be challenged sometimes. I am willing to admit that I am only 100 percent right 95 percent of the time.
You know that’s nice, but I really don’t have time for blogging. Really, just short blurbs here & there is all I can do. And I’d never think of all these topics alone either. Me, I’m tickled if I hear old pals like John Pike on the radio. It’s the little things. But as I told my wife before I married her eons ago, ‘I’m seriously cranky, and it’ll only get worse’. As she’s said many times since, I’ve been true to my word! Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
Oh yeah, in case anyone wants to know, I’ll leave a link below.
[http://smithmag.net/2007/04/29/bachelor-party-confidential/]
Cheers, ‘VJ’
We like VJ. If nothing else, he keeps things open for debate on many occassions, providing a side that is not always with the majority.
The cheer and good lukc thing is still snarky though.
I agree, wailin, “cheers and good luck” is quite snarky, and he puts it in every comment on every blog he reads! I guess we do share the same tastes in blogs for some reason, which is strange.
Hehe… I agree. Some women who never marry are a bit on the nutsy side, but a big bunch are just non conformists, smart, independent women who refuse to swallow their dignity for the sake of mediocre company. My hair waxer charges $100 bucks per session. Maybe I should pay her a visit.
I sign most emails the same way too. Go figure. It’s an age thing too. Once upon a time ‘Cheers’ meant just that. You could look it up. Cheers, ‘VJ’
I know VJ. Just always seemed snarky, though I know it’s not. lol
Maybe I should get a hair waxer. Then again, there’s only the eyebrows. Nothing below the eyelids, please!
I debated “opening my face right up” before the black tie event I attended last night, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go through the agony..Normally the lady thinks I’m crying (which I practically am) I tell her my skin is extremely sensitive.. sensitive to being tortured that is.. Anyhoo it usually takes a day or so for the imflammation to subside.. I’ve got the red sharpie pen look until then..
MsRebecca — Usually if I get my brows done in the morning, they’re fine by the evening. The major swelling and redness goes down within an hour or two. I usually get my brows done on Saturday mornings and go out by Saturday night. I don’t know if my skin just isn’t as sensitive as yours, but it doesn’t affect me that badly. (My Waxer is really great though. She’s my fourth and I like her the best. I’ve had other waxers where my face actually bled a little bit, but I’ve stuck with this waxer for at least a year now because she is great.) That said, if I know I have something big early on a Saturday afternoon or can’t get a morning appointment, I take a Friday appointment just to be sure my face is better. You might also ask for the “sensitive” skin wax. (I think my salon calls it “stripless” wax.) I’ve had them use that before and it is probably a little less painful on your skin for some reason.
see? this is what i was talking about. i could never write a post this cool. i love this!