The very best place to start July 31, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in General Clumsiness and Related Stupidity, Life, Really. Bad. Habits., Wheat Thins and Wine, Why I Write.trackback
Lately, it has been day after day of the mundane and the tedious. I’ve never professed to have the most exciting, interesting life in the world. I do, however, usually keep myself pretty well entertained between my family and friends, writing and assorted social exploits.
I’ve always said that one of the best things about being an adult is that no one is standing there telling you what to do, what not to do or how silly doing something you’re doing is. I talk a big talk about the fabulousness of eating a dinner of waffles from the freezer while gulping down white wine. About not having to go out when I don’t want to. About having as many friends as anyone could dream of having.
But, you know, you shouldn’t only eat waffles for dinner. And you should go places – like the grocery store and the gym – instead of loafing around. And meeting new people and cultivating new friendships isn’t bad. And you shouldn’t stay up so late.
I am in a bit of crisis of confidence. I don’t feel as in control of my body, my diet, my schedule, my chores, my finances, my free time, my laundry, my future, my present, my hair. Myself.
Just writing that out feels like a first step.
Ruts are good from time to time, if nothing else to appreciate that things are indeed “normal”. I’m often guilty of being too much a creature of habit.
OMG! I just had a fabulous dinner of frozen waffles and wine too except that I prefer mine with a glass of red!
And… I shouldn’t have been slacking off at work last week because now, I am sick and can’t catch up; plus I should have lost about 15 pounds by this point in the Summer and should have been in bed 2 hours ago…
Give yourself a break! Life is too short!
As many know I’ve been in this rutt for most of the summer…I’m still reading and miss your datinig adventures… the most important thing has become dinner for me lately…(we teachers have nothing to do in the summer all day except watch the Food Network) I’ve been hooked on the grilled shrimp/steaks and trying to create the fancy dishes you see in those fancy restaurants…(not all come out eatable) working with Philo dough, and puff pastry…and cream/wine sauces…still working on it…and trying to be prepared for when I have someone to cook for!
Exactly. You’re just not thinking of all the new & delicious things to be doing with those waffles. The big exciting things going on out here this past week:
1.) This past weekend I was shot at by the military honor guard at a funeral for the father of a friend. (Strangely enough, they aimed right at me and felt the ‘whoosh’ of air as they fired their blanks). It’s not like they’ve not gotten some practice out of this recently, right? There’s a reason why you’re supposed to fire into the air boys!
2.) At the same funeral I was asked the words to ‘America the Beautiful’ by the singers. ‘Cause I’m almost so old I can recall when it was written.
3.) I had 2 cans of Fix a Flat blow up on me. Let me tell you that stuff is nasty on your skin or clothes!
4.) The same car had the spare sealed jumper battery go dead after 6 mo.
5.) Condition 3&4 had me miss another funeral of a dear 90 year old friend, who was just honored by the Governor some months back for her good works. Just in time. But not time enough for me to pay my respects to the family.
6.) I carefully considered all those control issues (ok some) while doing 95 mph down the Interstate from Asheville to Nashville. The wife is always less appreciative of arriving ‘on time’ in such a manner. As long as she’s awake she’s got some control over that.
7.) On controlling finances. I deposit a nice hefty check from ‘accounts receivable’ in our account. Only to have the teller never give me a receipt for an amount that probably exceeds her salary. I’ve got to go back the next day to check to see that her job (depositing the check for us) was done. The teller is probably older than I am. There’s little excuse for that, right?
8.) I’m about to deal with building contractors, mostly grifters, all of them, that ought to be exciting real fast, right? Not too much control there either.
9.) I’ve always had control issues with hair. So I try & keep it short. It solves most of problems. And I’ve gotten into hats lately too. That helps too. I had a Panama hat delivered to the house last week from this crazy Col. Littleton chap. He’s quite the character out there in TN. A geezer’s geezer for certain. And laughing all the way to several banks I’m betting. I’m finally of an age I can afford his ’stuff though.
10.) Control is in the mind. There are things we can have some modicum of control over. Laundry & Hair should be on the simple end of the spectrum. Diet, schedules & chores get a bit more dicey if you don’t have the free time you need. That’s a huge issue almost everywhere. Finances and the wide open future are a bit more remote for most folks, but the debt is what’s eating up most of the bottom line of almost everyone I know in some trouble. That’s one of the keys to the finance question, and for a more secure& relaxing future.
So never worry. As long as you’re alone, sitting still and writing, you’re in at least good control of some faculties. And mostly it should be good company too. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
I know what you mean - happens to me all the time, for varying lengths of time. I can’t really offer you any tips on climbing out the rut, but it seems like seems like you already have found a nice big handhold in posting about it! Just wanted to let you know that people out there are cheering you on
*hug?*
We all know that feeling, and just as we pull through (and you have in the past, I’m sure) you will now. If that doesn’t help, like VJ said, at least you’re not as old as he is.
Awww, VJ. You know I like ya, right? I tease because I care. Besides, if you can pull off a Panama you have much admiration here, since I can’t even pull off a baseball cap.
Hey, I go through weeks like this, too, and the one thing that always helps to start the climb out of the trenches is the gym. I know, it seems a little sad to start feeling good while pounding on some treadmill when the weather’s so good outside, but some days, you really don’t want to see pretty people and gorgeous bodies and listen to chattering lovebirds, and that’s what the gym and earphones were made for. I find that once I get that workout in, the diet part slowly comes together, and then the confidence pulls itself in, followed by going out more and drawing in fun people which is all a cycle of more confidence and thus smiles. Good luck!
Thag Simmons…lol. I miss The Far Side.
hey at least your blog is amazing!! i have the shortest attention span when it comes to blogs but i actually subscribed to yours..that must say something great about you
Good luck with everything!
*Hugs* Charming…. ruts are always in the road, huh? I’ve been in one for about two weeks and then last night I forced my lazy ass to walk across the parking lot to the gym (I mean really, how lazy am I if I can’t walk across the freaking parking lot?). I told myself to just do 1/2 hour on the treadmill, nothing more. I did and I felt much better about myself. Just little steps Girl….!
things will pick up. it’s ok to be lazy and mundane once in a while. You’re just taking a little vacation for the huzz and buzz of your busy life. Nothing wrong with that. *hugs*. don’t be hard on yourself hunny. We ALL go through it.
Well, if it’s any comfort, I’m probably not the only one clicking my “CBS” link 30 times a day in hopes of a new entry to offer some life escapism.
Kudos to step #1. Take the reigns girl!
Oh, and have you ever taken a spinning class? I highly recommend it! They’re KILLER and you feel SO AWESOME when you’re done.
Also, can I add some cheese factor in here and say that you reach out to make new friends when you blog here - we may not be neighbors, but we’re always here!
I love that adulthood allows us to do whatever we want - waffles included. It’s tough to make yourself go to bed early, or even go out, when you just don’t want to. Good for you for taking the first step. We all have days where it feels like we’ve let go of the reigns.
Huh, to think I’ve been having cereal for dinner when I could have had waffles and wine!
My latest motto: Today is a new day. The possibilities are endless and I have no limits.
On another note, I can totally relate to how you’re feeling, so if nothing else, know that you aren’t alone
Ah…the summertime slump. I know a lot of people going through that right now. Hang in there…change will be coming and you’ll get out of your rut.
Enjoy the downtime, if you can. and, if it makes you feel better, my hair never behaves.
out of control. that’s exactly how I feel, and what I wrote into a ridiculously long e-mail to my boss and good friend. I think that was my first step. then I drank wine with a friend. now I have my gym bag packed for tomorrow, we’ll see if that pans out.
hang in there. focus on ont thing you love that you’ve let slide, and hopefully the rest will follow!
that’s right… you should eat waffles for EVERY meal!
= : - )
I’ve been that way myself. Stuck in this rut. And stuck in the rut of hating the rut I’m in. But waffles for dinner? That’s not a rut, that’s wonderful.
While being in a rut can truly be excruciating, it can also be a blessing in disguise.
For not having the bad times, would you really appreciate the good times as much once they finally start to happen?
…Probably not. =)
I’m in the same place. I kinda wish I had someone forcing me to the things I should be doing….instead I just laze about and do little to nothing….
This morning I put something in the oven and didn’t even get a plate…just ate it over the stove on the baking dish….
A new low.
My advice: stop listening to the one adult still telling you what to do- you. Embrace the joys of waffles and grown-up grape juice, go to the park or zoo, and speak freely whatever comes to mind. And don’t feel guilty or apologize for it! Lesson learned from my best friend in college when, upon a meltdown over a midterm which lead to a quarter-life-crisis of what to do with my life. She demanded that we (in pijamas), take shots of Kalhua, walk to the closest park, swing on the swings, and sing the Star Spangled Banner loudly (even though she’s tone deaf). By the time we got home my head was clearer and the world seemed much more managable. I even wanted to go back to all those grown-up resposibilities I was avoiding because I felt powerful and free enough to see them in perspective.
I used to enjoy being able to sleep all day long on sundays, eating really unhealthy food. I guess, when one is younger one can go a long time doing that, and one will just look the same on monday. That comes to an end when you find people that haven’t seen you in years and say: “oh, the good life” gently tapping on your stomach. I guess it gets to you. Freud should be very happy knowing that I’ve started to listen to the Super-Ego again. The bastard!
1. feeling out of control can make you stressed/depressed.
2. write a to-do list and tackle it!
3. you will feel better.
im sorry your feeling in a bit of a rut! hope that things start to look up for you. oh, and waffles and wine is never a bad thing for dinner. don’t be so hard on yourself!