The Patron Saint of Spinsters August 12, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Advice People Give Me, Being Southern, Dating, Family, Men, My family is sure I will never marry, Single Girl Cliches, Women.trackback
“[Charming], I have a prayer for you,” said my Grandmother, a devout Catholic and fixture on her church’s prayer line.
“What kind of prayer?” I asked, with a cautious tone I reserve for moments when I think I’m about to hear something I’d rather not, perfected over years of awkwardness at Sunday dinners.
“Well, I met this woman who worked at Wal-Mart.”
“Uh-huh,” I said, now fully convinced that this gem of advice was probably about to me wildly out of line with my life.
“And she’d had two husbands, and she asked me if I was Catholic,” my Grandmother said.
By this point, wild scenarios of how this conversation even started raced through my mind. I could picture my Grandmother asking the woman working the cash register for advice for marrying off her hopelessly single granddaughter who, “Just works all of the time, you know?”
“And the woman at Wal-Mart gave you a prayer?”
“Yes,” my Grandmother said. “She asked if I knew of the prayer to St. Anne.”
“St. Anne?” I asked. I am familiar with praying to St. Anthony when you’ve lost something or praying to St. Jude, the patron Saint of Lost Causes – and yes, I feared that my Grandmother was about to suggest a prayer to St. Jude. I was fully unaware of a Matchmaker Saint, though I’m sure that if one such saint did exist, my Grandmother would know about it.
“Yes, St. Anne. The prayer goes ‘St. Anne, St. Anne, find me a man.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but for once in a life full of sarcastic comebacks and witty quips, no words came.
“But the woman at Wal-Mart, she said she changed the words around a little because she’d been divorced twice,” my Grandmother said. “So she prays, ‘St. Anne, St. Anne, find me the right man.’”
My Grandmother was so proud of herself for finding a way to appeal to a higher power to intervene in my dating life. And the rest of my family teasingly sang, “St. Anne, St. Anne, find [Charming] a man!” for the rest of the afternoon.
OMG…what on earth does one say?
Probably better that you didn’t come up with any sharp ripostes.
I’m from a Catholic family…but a less interventionist variety than ours.
Bon courage, chere!
I may have had the benefit of time to think, but the first response that came to mind was:
“A word to the devout- Butt Out!”
You sure your grandmother isn’t thinking: “No man yet so no grandchild: Hell, let’s pray for an immaculate conception!”?!?
‘Cause Saint Anne was the mother of the Virgin Mary…. :-p
I guess I’d be more along the lines of a prayer to St Jude. Seems that way sometimes, anyhow.
Least you grandma’s thinking of ya. Be glad for that, if nothing else. Funny story nonetheless. My question is who would just say “I’ve had two husbands, oh and are you Catholic by chance?”
Creepy. O.O
Oh wow- I’m not Catholic, but I think I may just convert if this is going to give me access to this St Anne. As funny as this is (and seriously, it’s hilarious), I sympathize with the problem of having well-meaning relatives intrude and imply that you’re in need of help. It certainly doesn’t help when my self-confidence is already at a low about finding a man, to have my many, many aunts and grandmother point out that I’m single. Hang in there!
I have to say that this post is HILARIOUS! I’m surprised my uber-Catholic family has not mentioned it to me yet…LOL Grandma’s heart is in the right place though.
The universality of your situation certainly makes it fun for all us other single women.
I certainly encountered plenty of those “helpful” moments over the decades, where well-intentioned parents, grandmothers, and friends suggested ways I could get myself married. I figured they just wanted me happy, so I accepted it as being in the same camp as “here, have another piece of pie” — they want to give pleasure and don’t know they are being annoying.
Fortunately, I’m at an age now where people have given up bugging me about it — or perhaps they’ve noticed that I’m having such a good time that I don’t need marriage to make me “complete.”
thats soo funny of your grandma that she thinks you need a prayer for your dating life … it reminds me of my grandma with me thats different my dear old granny is looking for a husband for me, coz we normally get arranged marriages, but she doesn’t know i have already made my choice and she still tries to change my mind about it all the time telling me about her friends grandson, the neighbors nephew and other people that we know!!! lols … its just their way to get involved in our lives because before the elders have the upper hand in the family and nothing is done with out their consent, its still the same in my family but with a slight change that i will get to make the final decision and not her .. so here’s to all those cute old granny’s of ours!!! cheers
ah, good old saint anne. my middle name is owed to her, as she is (as LaMa alludes to above) the patron saint of women in labor, and my own uber-catholic grandmother dragged my mother up to her cathedral in quebec when she was having trouble conceiving for a little good old fashioned begging and pleading.
and then, soon after, there i was. and while i am a huge believer in coincidences being…just coincidences, ymmv - make of it what you will!
the more revelant point here is that the wal-mart divorcee has her saints a little muddled, and unless you’re aiming for changing diapers anytime soon, i’d avoid invoking her name
That’s hilarious!! I honestly googled it to see if it was true too, and that’s serious a real prayer. Wow … um … I guess “wow” is all I can really say about that.
Well at least she is still in the “right” man mode. She could have gone the route of:
- that has a job
- has a pulse
- that wasn’t a women before
That’s when it’s time to really worry.
This post is funny! What’s more? I think there’s a possibility your grandmother’s prayer might actually work if she’s willing to say it in public.
Imagine this: If I (a single man) were at a restaurant or a cafe and should find myself seated next to your adorable grandmother chanting “St. Ann, St. Ann., find my granddaughter a man,” I’ll be curious to know more about the granddaughter. Upon finding out how charming the girl in question is, I might even bribe the grandmother with a tiramisu or a coconut cream pie to set me up on a blind date.
screw it, i’ll try anything once. thanks to grandma for the prayer!
Love it, and love her! So great. Hope it works! (Cuz, I’ll be chanting it for myself very regularly.)
You know, aside from the general intrusion of family on life (and really ,when does that stop?), I like the prayer…and I’m pretty sure it’s close to the one my mom’s been praying for me for years. St. Anne was the mother of Mary, and all things considered, Mary found herself a gem, so hey, why not!
Okay, I’m really curious now. Charming, how old are you that your family thinks you’re never getting married? Because being 38 and single, if you are still in your twenties I think I am going to cry.
That is so funny - I am not Catholic but am sure that grandmothers everywhere (including my own) have their own version of this prayer for wayward, single grand-daughters!
Heh - This was funny, and I kinda think you’re Grandmother is cool. At least she isn’t pushing for you to hook up with just anybody. And you’re family chanting, well, that’s just what families do.
It’s always a difficult call: is it better for the family to be interested in your current relationship status, or not interested at all?
I’ve got a few thoughts here generally. Granny sounds like a trip, and I’m betting that she’s a very loving soul & deeply involved in her family. (I know, redundant.) Still, she’s asking strangers in Walmart to pray for your ‘deliverance’, so she’s sort of extra concerned about you, OK? Other notes:
1.) St. Anne is the patron Saint of Canada (Quebec in particular) and France. Good places to start looking actually. Especially in LA, right?
2.) But I’m with Kate d. on this one. The context I’m most familiar with, she’s associated with pregnancy & Childbearing. (Also mothers, women in labor in addition to housewives, the childless, grandmothers & grandparents and more according to the site cited below the wiki entry).
3.) Never underestimate the power & efficacy of prayer. You might be pregnant by a gent of French Canadian heritage before the year is out. (There’s nothing much I’ve read about prayers to St. Anne referring to the ‘delivery of good men’ in the offing either. As nice & euphonious as it may be.) Still, you might be kept safe as a voyageur in your travels in the Canadian wilderness. And all the usual fecundity stuff.
4.) Ergo, you might impress upon gran mama that she use the prayer sparingly. Too much of a good thing, well, that’s like triplets. And we’d almost not like to imagine that.
Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
haha! i have no idea who st anne is but perhaps i should make that my prayer any way
VJ, are you advocating the search be spread to Canada? Are there good women to be found there? Think there could be one for me?
Does this work on non-Catholics? Or is this one of those things that will work in reverse for not being a Catholic? I don’t want to take any chances.
How cute is your grandmother! : ) In Latin America St Anthony is the patron of finding significant others… maybe you should try both.
…I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives’ tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen ….
- Dorothy Parker
And all this time it was just a matter of your not making the correct request to the right saint. Catholicism is like religious Whack-a-Mole, always trying to guess which saint is the right one to hammer when the chips are down.
Ok, maybe it isn’t like Whack-a-mole, but it’s still more complicated than it should be.
Oh no! You poor thing. I don’t know what you could have said to that. Probably wise that you didn’t say anything.
So THOSE were the words we were supposed to say in order to snag a suitor. If only we’d known sooner!
Sooo glad your grandma doesn’t have my grandma’s number. She would’ve called and I, too, would be hearing the prayer to find me the right man.
One can learn great things at Wal*Mart
I think I’d prefer, “Saint Anne, Saint Anne, To hell with that man!”
Wow, your grandmother and mine sound very similar! Mine gave me “He’s Just Not That Into” for Christmas a couple years back. They mean well. Cute story though :0)
My mother gave me a book called “The Between Boyfriends Book.” I don’t think she would have if she had known the advice it contained, though!
They do mean well. The ones I dislike are the distant relatives, the ones you only see on major holidays, who are always asking “so is there anyone special in your life now???” I always respond by describing the horses I ride (”he’s tall, dark and handsome…”).
ok, you’ll prolly never believe this, but my parish growning up was St. Anne’s and we had this one lady who would often sit in the first row and occassionally yell that out during Mass.
The regulars were all used to her, but it was a treat to watch the faces of the newcommers… and if we had a new priest saying Mass… well…. reactions were just pricesless!
ps: been reading your blog for a few months now and it makes a terrific start to my work day!
It’s sad that being divorced (twice divorced at that) makes a woman worth more than not having been married at all. At least if you’re divorced, it proves that at some point someone decided you were worthy of their love. Sure, maybe they were a big loser who beat you and cheated on you, but at least they wanted you!
My family gives me grief because I seem to always have too MANY men. Last week over a family dinner, my grandmother kept talking about the differences in dating now and when she was my age. “You see Caitlyn, we didn’t have premarital sex like you girls seem to!”
Keep in mind that this was also a discussion with my other grandmother, my parents, my brother, and the guy I was dating.
LOL i knew St. Anne was the patron saint for single women, but i’ve never heard that prayer. too funny.
um, you don’t happen to have that St. Jude’s prayer handy, do ya? Because i think i’ve advanced past the Anne Stage….
Oh good god — that happened to me at my niece’s birthday party. Well, not exactly, but close enough to make me cringe a little at the memory that popped into my head after reading your post. Here’s to Saint Anne.