Thoughts on three of them August 15, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Backstory, Dating, Friends, General Clumsiness and Related Stupidity, Men, Random Musings on Life, Single Girl Cliches.trackback
I don’t miss how you text messaged instead of calling. Or how you were too busy to fit me into your schedule and never intended to transition into the role of boyfriend – despite any of the number of reasons why I wanted to believe that you would. Or how you never wanted to go where I wanted to go, even for one evening. Even for one hour.
I miss how you kissed me like you meant it, with confidence and abandon. You made me feel sexier than anyone else ever has.
—
I don’t miss how I was never sure about how I felt about you. Or how you were sometimes too playful, too outgoing, too eager to please.
I miss how your arms and body enveloped me and how I always felt like I had your attention when we were together and that devilish grin you get on your face sometimes and how you always opened the door. You were the only man who ever won me a teddy bear using a claw in a vending machine.
—
I don’t miss that you never were open to being anything to me. That you knew I was crazy about you and fed off of that energy to inflate your ego. I don’t miss how you had me in the palm of your hand and how I would have given myself to you fully if you only would have let me inside your heart for even a second. And you knew that and wouldn’t even entertain the thought.
I miss how I could talk to you forever, about anything and nothing and everything but how I was so taken with you.
Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
I had a one like the last one. That’s the one I miss the most. And the least. Of all of mine. Which do you?
sounds like my bf#3, the one I really liked and then really disliked after finding out all his exgf issues! I was like that for about a year and 6 guys later, and then I met someone awesome and have rarely thought of him since.
Chin up, someone better will come along, I’m sure of it
Have gone through that - being a male ego-booster, but him being one of the greatest friends that I’ve ever had.
It takes time. Never heals totally. And you keep wondering, what if, but you must let go - for your own sake.
I met him some time ago - and he was still hanging on the past, while I had moved on. And suddenly I felt free. Revelation.
I’m going through number 3. It sucks but it makes me think if I could find someone that I could talk about anything, then maybe I could find someone that I could talk about anything AND have their heart without all of the emotional draining effort. Something effortless for once. Hang in there - I am!
The more I know people, the more I appreciate dogs. Really. I also suspect that perhaps 2 of the 3 have made appearances on the blog. Cheers & Better luck, ‘VJ’
I’m going through a combination of all three in one guy who’s been dangling me for the past few weeks. And I keep swinging between giving him up and trying to make excuses for him. Enough, already! Chin up- I’m convinced I needed these lessons to make me realize I deserve better!
I remember #3. It was so difficult to let him go (or in fact, make him leave my mind) that it delayed letting my current boyfriend in for nearly a year. When I finally did (the boyf has been very persistent) I haven’t spent another thought on him since. Until now I guess.
I agree with M btw: I know I needed some disappointments to realise I deserve someone better.
I think we dated the same guy! Crazy how so many of us have had this same experience!! Thanks for writing this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Have a great day!!
Oh that was three different guys!? I had all those things in one…lucky me I suppose. :-/
How is it that you can always write what I feel?
I think that any guy even thinking about dating should have to read something like this. Each of the sleights you have described represents the kind of things that guys do without thinking, and then wonder why women hate them so much. I hate to think that I might have been one of these guys to someone I’ve been involved with; it takes this kind of open and frank description to open our eyes to what we are unknowingly capable of.
This makes me think wistfully back over a few in my past… but then there’s always that “what I don’t miss.” But I’m still convinced that one of these days, I’ll find one whose worse “what I wouldn’t miss” would be something simple, like not wearing no-show socks with shorts, or forgetting to hang up his towel… I bitch enough, I figure I could change those simple things…
Got a three myself. The Ex is probably the best I’ll ever have. And of course, I do nothing but push her away now, too. It’s hard to look forward when the past seems to be skulking right behind you.
i think we have dated the same guys….at least that last one anyway!
Ugh, I can totally relate to #3. I have been there before, in fact with one guy last year, and I agree with Cecile Weekly’s comment above — it’s making me weary of letting another guy in.
Hmmm…
[...] My three, inspired by Charming…. [...]
I think we’ve all had these feelings of missing, remembering the good and then the bad. It reminds us of what we want, what we deserve and what was real.
I’ve had all three wrapped in one person. Very confusing and painful.
Charming, you are clearly depressed right now and I hope you are able to overcome this because I actually found this particular post to be worrisome.
Please consider this: Be thankful that you were able to enjoy your time with this guy(s). You had some fun, you felt feelings that you had been craving, you were able to open your heart to someone and enjoy life. Then, be thankful that it didn’t work out in the end because you would have ended up with a self-centered egomaniacal jerk. In the end, Dear Charming, you won!
You’ve inspired me to write my three.
I loved this line “…if only you would have let me in your heart for a second”. There was a man from Connecticut who, not so long ago, had a similar hold on me. How they get us to feel so strongly I will never understand.
[...] Thoughts on three of them I don’t miss how you text messaged instead of calling. Or how you were too busy to fit me into your schedule and […] [...]
I don’t think there’s anyone in the world who could read this post and not end up thinking about their own past loves.
It would all be so much easier if it were just simpler: if there were only bad qualities to remember, uncomfortable memories, etc. But it’s never like that, because people and relationships are never black and white.
So remember the good and smile, and remember the bad when you’re sizing up someone new… and of course, there will be someone new, my friend!
I loved this post. I might swipe your idea.
I’m in the middle of number three. Why is it so hard to walk away from it? Blah!
I’m in the same boat as M above, ‘a combination of all 3 in one’. Going through swings and roundabouts is exhausting…I know in my head I deserve better and should move on but my heart just can’t let go.
Ive had #1, and no.2&3 in a combo. I think they make the rounds
I just like to think I will run into them some day when they are fat balding and alone in an airport bar and I will be on my way to accept my nobel prize with my supporting husband and perfect children. Did I mention I will also be looking like a supermodel at the time?
PS. Just came accross your site and have spent the last 3hours reading archives I think I will start mosturizing my elbows more it seems theraputic.
Wow. This is exactly what I am dealing with right now! -And the reason I moved 2200 miles away from him. At this point, I realize it is a wound that will never fully heal, but I need to move on. I HAVE to move on. Chin up! -don’t waste the beauty and talent on him!
oh man. i hate it when those thoughts seep into my head…..
good memories…bad memories….repeat….
bittersweet, for sure. you want to smile and cry at the same time. you have regrets, but you would never want to get back together….ugh. it’s weird.
excellent idea for a post, btw.
well written, well said, well put… just well done. a lovely read…
[...] My three, inspired by Charming…. [...]
wow. that was just amazing.
story of my life for a while there…until now. this is nicely written though
Wow, this post couldn’t have come at a better time. Seriously, I feel so much of the same right now and for the past 1.5 months. Jeez, I’m even keeping track of the heartbreak. We’ve all been/ will go through it, it’s good to know that someone else somewhere in the world will understand.
Ah, the yin and yang of relationships. I think it’s important to remember what we WON’T miss as much as what we will miss. So this post spoke to me. It makes it easier to move on when you remember what wasn’t working and ti keeps you rooted in reality. Not sure if this was true for you, but all those things you “put up” with while dating become, wow -how could I have put up with that? We have to remember that we deserve someone who truly wants to be with us, makes the time and is considerate!