Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right September 27, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Dating, General Clumsiness and Related Stupidity, Life, Men, Single Girl Cliches, Tales of Online Dating.trackback
Note: Ok, so my life hasn’t been totally devoid of fun, promise.
I, like a lot of people I know, am on a co-ed sports team. It’s pretty low maintenance and I must admit that I missed a lot of the games. But the ones I did go to were terribly fun, as my team is very much about the socializing and the smack talking and the beer drinking and less about the winning and the competing and the having of actual athletic skill.
The first awkwardness was that one of my teammates happens to be a guy I talked to during my disastrous stint online dating. He definitely stopped e-mailing me and I know this can’t be attributed to his subscription being up, because we actually had started e-mailing off of the site. I’m not sure he knows who I am, but I think it is somewhat likely. That said, my observations of him in person are that we’d probably not be compatible and he doesn’t seem to be my type. This didn’t make any easier showing up at the first game, getting sweaty and wondering if he was thinking, “Thank God I never e-mailed her back.” No one, especially me, wants to face rejection, especially by someone who never even met me. I’d rather believe I was simply too wonderful for all of my past dates to handle.
So, that’s The First One.
As we’re “warming up” for our game, I checked out the other team – I’ll admit that I was looking for potential guys for future flirting. The teams are co-ed for a reason. My eyes fell on a nice-looking guy on the other team who stood chatting in the opposing dugout. And, of course, I was horrified to see that it was The Engineer, him of the flirting and the public kissing and the not calling, which was followed by the outright denial that I existed another night.
So, there was The Engineer, looking cute over in his dugout, which made me want to smack him or send an errant ball his way – not that I have that kind of ball control, mind you. I was unsure as it if he saw me until he came over to be the third base coach while I was rotated out for an inning and drinking beer in my dugout. He definitely saw me and the flicker in his eye let me know that, oh yeah, he remembered me. And, not having a close girlfriend there to save me, I simply smiled and talked to a teammate and prayed that he took a foul ball to the groin in a painful, yet not harmful, manner.
So that’s The Second One.
By the time the game ended, I was excited to move from the hot, muddy field to a more civilized location – a dark bar with a jukebox and drinks in plastic cups. Problem was that all of the teams normally go to this bar, and that night was no exception. Both The First One and The Second One were there, and I was less than thrilled that two walking, talking reminders of my dating deficiencies were to be drinking beer nearby.
I put on my best game face and strode in to find my teammates, only to pass Little Mister Small Town, who was sitting at the bar with a woman. I’ve seen him less and less around town since I e-mailed him to no response last summer. Seeing him was weird – for some reason I’d been 100 percent sure he was going to e-mail me back and express interest, which made him ignoring my e-mail even more annoying.
So that’s The Third One.
Fed up and frustrated, I retreated to the ladies restroom. I grumbled as I looked into the mirror. I was sweaty and muddy in Capri-length sweats and a neon shirt. My hair was pinned awkwardly against my head, as I’d forgotten a rubber band but remembered bobby pins. What little make-up remained on my face was smudged beneath my eyes.
And there it was, the ridiculousness that is my dating life – failed by online dating, failed by drunken flirting, failed by meeting men through friends. I had a talk with the Gods of Dating and well, let’s just say I let them know that I was pretty pissed by the parade of past rejection. But I sucked it up, wiped the mascara off of my sweaty face and had a few beers. Little Mister Small Town mouthed “Hi” as I walked by. I smiled and hovered around my teammates, expecting for the first guy to ever kiss me to walk in, hand-in-hand with every guy I’d ever kissed in college.
Not that the bar was that big, mind you.
Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
Unrequited revenge fantasies, the warm remainder of the good times lived & recalled all too well. Usually cured with more beer. When they start penning songs to your sweet memory, then perhaps it’s time to move on. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ
wow-that is way too coincidental and kind of cruel for fate! All I can say is that you are due to have something really wonderful/cool/exciting happen in that department. You deserve it!
I know this is going to sound harsh, but you emailed Little Mister Small Town 4 months after he initially gave you his card. Granted, you saw him (in passing) a couple times after that, but I am willing to bet that if he had actually replied, you would have been wondering why he hadn’t started dating someone in that 4 month gap. Then you would have proceeded to overanalyze why he hadn’t been dating anyone, find some flaws in him, and lost any interest.
If you were interested, really, then you would have called - even emailed - right away. Bold moves have a small window. Otherwise, wouldn’t you expect that someone who is attractive, nice, seemingly not self-centered, and intelligent is not going to have someone else take advantage of his business card?
Meh. Could have been worse. At least was just casual date failures, right? Not like every person you felt serious about that you are no longer with suddenly showed up and they’re all being extra super nice, which only really adds fuel to the fire of the Hindenburg that is your life. Course, I’m a bit jaded I think.
You took it in stride, in the end, and handled everything with a bit of class. Remember, of you cut and run the terrorists win. XD
I must say I feel your pain and applaud your composure. When “Everything but a Ring” walked into my church with “EX-BFF, New GF” arm in arm and she all but jumped in my lap to show me her new diamond, I was not able to maintain the same level of poise. Brava! to you.
just sayin’ — Oh, I should have e-mailed him earlier, sure. I’m still allowed to be annoyed when I see him in a bar on what turned out to be “parade of rejection” night for me. It did cross my mind that he could be dating someone else during that four months, and I know it was a tricky situation.
And I wouldn’t have been wondering why he hadn’t been dating anyone, because, hell, who had I been dating? I think I went out with a few guys from Match.com, but that’s it. It is possible, you know, to be a “catch,” so to speak, and NOT being dating someone. I’m just sayin.’
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptThe first awkwardness was that one of my teammates happens to be a guy I talked to during my disastrous stint online dating. He definitely stopped e-mailing me and I know this can’t be attributed to his subscription being up, … [...]
Sometimes living in a small-ish town sucks…
Wow. Sounds like a terrible day, I sympathize and agree that you’re due some good dating karma for that!!! Way to keep your composure- I’m sure I would have dipped out upon discovering myself in that potentially akward situation
Maybe that was the gods way of showing you how smart you were to let those opportunities pass you by because someone even better is on the horizon? I don’t know, I’m just speculating. And blabbing uncontrollably. But anyway, congratulations on being so calm and poised in the face of adversity…
It would seem that the only way you can avoid feeling awkward these days is to lock your doors and refrain from public outings altogether. Harsh, but effective.
yikes! Talk about coincidences! This must have been hard to endure.
Yeah, that’s always a bit of a shot to the ego. It’s like the time I visited my hometown and walked into the local pub only to find not one but two of my ex boyfriends. Having dinner together.
Charming,
I recently started reading your blog, so don’t know all the past stories. I took the time today to read all the trackbacks in this post, and sincerely enjoyed your little stories. I feel like I’ve lived each situation you were talking about with Number One and Number Two, maybe not Number Three yet, but I don’t deny that as a perpetually single 20-something, he’s right around the corner. I feel like you and I would get along super well. In fact, I feel like we’re practically the same person; it’s uncanny and we would most definitely be friends if we lived in the same city.
I feel super frustrated with the dating Gods right now, too. Hang in there! Like they say, “It’ll happen.” I keep trying to tell myself that too.
–Charming and Single 20-Something in Seattle
Oh my gosh! All those guys from your past in the same place???? You really handled yourself well.
UGH… I hate seeing past guys I’ve dated that ended awkwardly (either they ended it or me)…. I don’t know what I’d say now.. maybe just ignore them and pretend we never had a relationship?
The benefit of your awkward evening? Being able to write about it wittily - for a writer, it’s all material, and the more uncomfortable, the better. I once was flipping through the Yellow Pages, and I came across the smug face of the most passive-aggresive boyfriend I ever had. These days, he’s a divorce lawyer. Ah, the bullets we dodge…
wow, what are the chances!
Had you carried a dictaphone discreetly in your pocket, you would have an answer to that time honored interview question- “What would everyone you ever dated say about you if you put them all in a room together…”
It makes for a good story, at least, and in our line of work (or play) that sure counts for something.
Ahh the “dissapearing” boys. I think internet dating is for the birds to many window shoppers out there who dont really seem to realize the people they are dating are indeed people. I’m okay with rejection (as much as anyone can be) but for heavens sake at least take the time to reject me. I reply “im sorry Im dating someone now” or “I just dont see it working out” or id even take “hey maybe we can hang out as friends or Im just really busy with work right now” they would be fine everyone knows what that means. The fact of the matter is having the closure makes that akwardness much easier. Sigh oh well.
That is seriously like the time I saw an ex ride by on a bike while on a date with someone new…totally threw off my game (not that I have much of it to begin with), but it wasn’t something I could explain to new guy.
I hope these guys don’t ruin the whole season for you!
I just discovered your blog today and I love this story! Seems just like the sort of thing that would happen to me.
And reading back on The Engineer–I know it’s well in the past now but my retrospect advice is absolutely “don’t sweat it.” Sure you’re not 21 anymore (neither am I–thank god!), but that doesn’t mean you can’t slip up occassionally. Chances are if deep down you’d really thought there was a “chance” for the two of you, you would have said goodbye at the car.
Sometimes we just need Mr. Right Now. No harm in that…