United on Team Lauren November 1, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in NaBloPoMo, Really. Bad. Habits., TV Rots The Brain, Weekend Updates.trackback
Saturday night, before the Halloween party, we grabbed a low key dinner at restaurant I love. We ate early – before six – and we took our time with drinks and appetizers and an adorable waiter that we flirted with unabashedly.
As we were finishing up and calling a cab to go back to the hotel, a very loud group of high school students bustled into place, all sequins and too-short dresses and fake blondeness, ready to eat before the Homecoming Dance. (Note to High School Girls: Seriously, have you not heard of slips? I shouldn’t be able to see your thongs through your dresses.) And our adorable waiter rolled his eyes and when he brought our bills, we teased him and he gave us this look like, “Save me from these sixteen year olds.”
And that led to a conversation about high school, which lead to a conversation about “Laguna Beach,” which lead to a conversation about “The Hills,” which is the most awesomely terrible show I’ve ever watched obsessively in my entire life.
“God, Spencer is such a tool.”
“I know, right, with those stupid teeth and that one stupid look on his face.”
“And dumbass Heidi.”
“I KNOW, who dates – nay – MARRIES Spencer Pratt?”
“Lauren was always one of my favorites on Laguna Beach. She’s cooler than that Kristin girl.”
“I know, right? LC was the star of that show.”
“And that guy, Brody Jenner?”
“Oh, my, he is incredibly hot.”
“I mean, I could just sop him up with a biscuit and eat him,” Southern Belle said in her most serious Southern accent.
—
Hours later, we sought refuge from the chilly weather by sneaking inside to the one of the houses near the outdoor party. We were planning on hanging out for just a few minutes, but Southern Belle flipped through channels on the TV and The Hills was on and we just had to watch.
“Oh, so I read this article and apparently the whole show is faked,” said The Laywer.
We discussed how this was disappointing, but obvious to anyone who watched it for more than 30 seconds.
And then two more women came into the house, also seeking some warmth.
“Um, what’s going on in here?”
“The Hills is on.”
“Ohmygod, I love this show. But I read this article about how it was totally fake and Heidi doesn’t even work at Bolthouse,” said one of the woman.
And they joined us and we gossiped some more. And then three more women entered the house to escape the chill.
“Are y’all watching ‘The Hills’? Because I read this article this week about how it is scripted.”
Fake or not, by the end of the episode, at least 10 women, all aged 27 to 33ish were crowded around the TV as Brody asked what movie Lauren was watching and she said “Does it really matter?” and booing when Spencer came on the screen. And when the guys came in to find us – because, really, how long can 10 female party goers disappear without raising an eyebrow or two – they seemed confused by our “Hills” party and we were all like, “Back off, we know you watch it too.”
A sad commentary on our society? Probably. But, man, on Sunday when I was hungover and tired and couldn’t move after the previous night’s shots, vodka crans, beers and one tackle by a man in spandex, with only orange juice to soothe my soul, those vapid blonde chicks were some mighty fine company.
I call Brody Jenner my boyfriend. In fact my step-mother called me the other day to say she saw “my boyfriend” on the TMZ show in a Halloween costume. Probably a sad commentary on my life, but who cares. Team Lauren Forever. (I’ll share my boyfriend with her, I guess)
“And when the guys came in to find us – because, really, how long can 10 female party goers disappear without raising an eyebrow or two – they seemed confused by our “Hills” party and we were all like, “Back off, we know you watch it too.”
I’m a little embarrassed to admit I’ve never seen it. It seems to be the hot thing to do. Please don’t hate me.
Me, I want to weep for my country. The missus & I don’t watch much TV. Never did as a matter of fact. It’s one of those obvious not so secret divides that separates out generations & some sorts of folks. Some people are readers. Really, they prefer it to most media. I suspect that for most purposes it’s mostly innocuous. But I know it’s a tremendous distraction for many.
If this was 1925 say, if you were tired from last nights festivities you’d be out rocking on the front porch listening to some music or gossiping with the neighbors. It’s what we gossip about today that’s different. It’s Brittany. Or this hottie on TV, or that one on the screen. Now this is old, as old as mass media, which is getting on at least into it’s 2nd century.
And still.. It’s somehow left us wanting more. Wanting more connection with friends & family. More time with children, parents or older relations. Or time to actually know the neighbors, or get to at least actually know their names. And yet the entire country seems to be sucked into the morass of mass media, actually wanting to know what happened to who on their favorite soap opera as if they were somehow real and it mattered to someone. Again, this is nothing quite new and many thousands of Victorians waited breathlessly to find out the latest adventures of Dickens’ ‘Little Dorrit’ more than 150 years ago. They probably consumed it for many of the same reasons too, to escape their otherwise dull lives or to provide some small perspective on the lives led by others.
The sad commentary is that we’ve now come to more prefer this fantasy life over aspects of our own. Even when our own offers so many more advantages that Dickens could not ever have dreamed of, and they are in many ways more exciting than those depicted on the screen.
Me, I usually found real live people & conversation more interesting than what was on TV. But I’m a freak like that.
But we’ll soon find out that everything is scripted in LA & Hollywood. The writers strike will prove that one out. Everything depends on words & the impressions they leave in the media.
Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
I’m with VJ on this, and don’t watch TV at all. People really do talk about the lack of human interaction, but then turn on the TV to catch a favorite show. Who really knows their neighbors? I actually don’t, but I blame the internet and World of Wacraft, and social anxiety disorder (all of which replaced TV for me).
I do, however, when the weather’s agreeable, sit on my apartment patio and play my guitar. Not well, mind you, but play I do. It’s a nice change from being on the couch.
totally Team Lauren!!
There is no lack of human interaction - my friends and I (all in our late 20s) get together to have human interaction - to watch the show!
At first I tried to play it off like I just liked watching the show for the clothes, but the fakeness of the show is actually the draw. It’s like a fake show with fake actors, but sometimes it’s better than actual scripted shows with actual actors. Weird, ain’t it?
OMG, totally Team Lauren… I became convinced the show was fake (and that’s totally fine by me) when Heidi showed absolutely no emotion when Spencer proposed. (I started calling her Heidi-bot then.)
Brody is SO HOT but also kind of a jerk. He’s nice to look at, but I don’t trust him with Lauren…
And I don’t think it’s at all unusual for women in their later 20s and 30s to watch the show… I’m 30, and watch it religiously, then discuss it at work the next day with several 50-60 year old women in my office!
Wait a minute … Heidi doesn’t really work for Bolthouse Productions? I knew that parts of the show were scripted, but this changes everything.
Of course The Hills is fake, what difference does it make?
P.S. No one under the age of 25 would be caught dead in a “slip.” Ever.
I know, right?!
I’m delurking to say Yay Team Lauren! Myself and several of my friends who are also in their early 30s that adore the show. Scripted or not, it’s good stuff.
There you have it. Slips, now your mamma’s foundation wear. Going the way of corsets & wire reinforced bullet bras in the new century. Showing off your nates to the world, a naturally occurring event that’s hard to get much worked up over. Really. They’re covered. If Just barely. What’s the problem?
This message brought to you by voyeurs everywhere, in particular the leering old doddering droolers out by the park. ‘Say Hey’ Dearies! Thank goodness for those easy autofocus jobs!
Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
I love the Hills and I read the same article! I guess it is scripted. But I still love it!
AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE Brody - He is FINE!
Random devil’s advocate- I would love if instead of requiring slips, retailers made non-see-through clothes. Many young girls turn to Forever 21 and such because the clothes are affordable enough for them to keep up with the trends. Sadly, what they gain in fashionability (sorry, I love made up words) they lose in quality. I definitely don’t think teenagers need to be running around flashing everything for the world to see, but I would ask for comfortable alternatives as opposed to adding troublesome layers. How many remember the Static Clean commercial where a woman walks down the street with her skirt creeping up to reveal the slip underneath?
Also LOVE the Hills, although very clearly scripted (how often do you and your friends get together and talk like “How is [job/ relationship/ whatever the producers feel viewers may be wondering about] going?”). Tiff- totally agree that TV can give people an excuse to get together for human interaction. It’s a jumping board for topics that relate to your own life (even if it’s just discussions of which guy you know looks the most like Jenner)
I love, love, LOVE The Hills, and was just as addicted to Laguna Beach. In fact, I own it on DVD and watched it while home from work sick the other day. Which brings me to my point: A) that makes me sound incredibly lame, and B) Lauren, “LC”, used to be so much more REAL on Laguna Beach. Now she’s so…I don’t know…afraid to be or say anything that is untoward. Do you know what I mean?
I want that girl to be controversial and get it over with because you know she has to be catty and materialistic and hateful and all that other stuff that even those poetically nice girls out there are underneath it all. Even if she just dropped the “f” bomb on occasion I might be more impressed. Although I will say, the “does it matter?” comment was seriously awesome.
And who doesn’t love Lo? She cracks me up.
Here’s the question I have for those who live everywhere else in the country: does everyone think that people in LA are like those portrayed on the various reality shows shot here? Just a curiosity…