Tables, turned November 14, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Being Southern, Cooking, Family.trackback
For seven long years, I was semi-vegetarian. Everyday of the year, Thanksgiving included. No turkey, no dressing, no stuffing, no gravy. Despite my Grandmother’s protests and my family’s attempts to sway me to eat just one piece of turkey, I abstained from the meat.
My family is full of jokers who delighted in nothing more than talking to their turkey in my presence, nibbling it with glee, holding pieces of it up in front of my face – all in the most kind, teasing way, of course. I was the Thanksgiving Freakshow, she who ate butternut squash dumplings while the rest of the crew devoured various cuts of meat. My youngest cousins would ask me if I was crazy, right before they asked me why I didn’t have a boyfriend and looked at me like I was a 100-year-old cat lady who lived in a cave.
So you can imagine how excited my now meat-eating self is about my having a Thanksgiving turkey this year. I love to cook, so much so that I’ve been known to go help my mom cook the night before Thanksgiving just for fun. And these last few months have been a love affair with turkey sandwiches leading up to the Main Event – slow roasted turkey with all the gravy I can ladle away from my family members.
I’m making plans for the cooking already – I am typically in charge of several sides and I’ll be packing some food in a cooler, as my family is driving to visit my brother and his fiancé for the holiday.
As luck would have it, they had a very important announcement for us – they’re completely vegetarian now. Possibly even vegan.
After suffering through SEVEN vegetarian Thanksgivings with my meat devouring brother, my triumphant return to plates of turkey topped with gravy topped with more turkey topped with a side of meat (for good measure) is marred by my brother informing me that he guesses we can use his future mother-in-law’s kitchen, not his, for the baking of the “death” turkey.
And now I am just so torn about the best way to support his decision. I simply can’t decide – should I chase him around the kitchen with the drumstick or just leave the turkey bones in his bed?
Can I ask what brought you to your decisions to become semi-veg and then back to eating meat?
Oh, I can so relate. I was a vegetarian for the first twenty-one years of my life. Imagine the taunting at the school lunch table on pepperoni pizza day, let alone by the extended family at Thanksgiving dinners. You are going to savor that first bite like I can’t even describe.
On a random side note, be prepared to go bra shopping! I, along with my best friend and cousin who each gave of meat for more than five years, all found ourselves going up an extra cup size upon the reintroduction of hormone-infused cuisine, without any other significant weight gain. Call it some sort of Darwinian reward system.
I know I should encourage you to be supportive and respectful of his decision… but I say payback is a b!tch. =P
Make him pay!
Tell him to Man Up. Tofurky is lame.
The only proper thing to do is torture this engaged-ass.
I say you’re a pretty sophisticated chick. Someone who stands her ground, knows what she likes and is comfortable enough with herself to say, “I changed my mind” smiling with the air of confidence that can still a room. I say you ask your brother, “So how does the Golden Rule go again?” Happy Thanksgiving!
Poor poor turkey. :’(
You should be nice to your vegetarian/vegan friends/family. they have nothing against you.
Plus, payback/revenge is so petty.
And maybe you should go back to being veggie again - the good karma might do you good
I’m not vegetarian, but an ex-girlfriend was. And I love Tofurkey, veggie burgers, vegetarian tacos…it’s all good. I think most male meat eaters are too insecure in their manhood to try vegetarian or vegan food and say they actually enjoy it. It’s food. It tastes good or it doesn’t. The fact that it’s a dead animal or not should have no bearing on the experience.
That all said…taunt away! Although turkey bones in the bed sounds a little messy.
The obvious answer is a traditional prepared Turducken. A Cajun specialty. But it sounds like you’ve got an amusing family. This is points in your favor with any future BF, I’m betting. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
Definitely chase him with the drumstick. Heck, chase him with the whole darn turkey! Make sure he knows you much you’re savoring every wonderful bite of turkey dinner. Taunt him to your heart’s content!
Revenge is a dish best served with gravy…
[...] in turkey, pulling large chunks off for sandwiches so the bones could be boiled for stock when my newly vegetarian brother walked into the [...]