Merci November 28, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Blog, Fashionable Ranting, I'm So Meta, NaBloPoMo, Seriously!, We Get It -- You're Stressed About Getting Old, Weberific!.trackback
Well, y’all sure know how to make a girl feel special. Thanks for the kind words and praise. I’m blushing.
I did want to reply to one comment from reader Ally who notes that me mentioning that young women should perhaps wear slips under their so that everyone cannot see their thongs (and butts) through their dresses shows that I am kind of out of touch with “young” women.
Ally, my darling, if not wanting the entire world to see my Lady Parts through my clothes makes me old and out of touch, then so be it. You can call me Grandma. (Or Miss Granny if you’re nasty.)
If you’re going to go to the trouble of wearing cocktail dresses with sequins to a semi-formal or formal event, you should at least have the kind sense to cover up your rear. Maybe there is a way other than a slip to accomplish this (a lined dress?), but a slip seemed like a good option to me.
Maybe it is the Southern Belle in me, maybe it is just how my Momma raised me, but I stand firm on my stance that no one should be able to see your ass cheeks out in public ever. And you can quote me on that.
Also, leggings still suck. And young girls wear dresses that are actually shirts and it is awkward. (See above, re: exposed Lady Parts.) And they wear too much eye make-up.
I am all about being fashionable, but you’ll find that as you age, practicality sometimes trumps trendiness. I suspect that no one would take me seriously if I showed up to work (or anywhere) with my undergarments showing through my whisper thin dress. And that could possibly cause me to lose my steady paycheck. And Lord knows we don’t want THAT to happen.
And when I start to think about these things, suddenly turning 28 soon doesn’t seem so bad.
Agreed. I’ll be Ms. Granny with you. And I’m four years younger - I don’t think it’s about being “young” so much as classy…
I didn’t get to yesterday’s post before this one came up, so I’ll post my answer here:
Found: Googling “Southern Gentlemen” for a link on my blog, when describing a particularly gentlemanly friend.
Stayed: I enjoy your writing and relate to many of your stories. It’s fun to read your entries as a recent transplant from Texas to a part of the “real South”, aka Louisiana, because they point out a lot of interesting things I’m noticing.
Keep up the good work! =)
In response to Ally: I just turned 25 less than a week ago and I have worn slips under my dresses and skirts ALL my life. I’ve NEVER left the house without one in a skirt or a dress. That’s how my Momma raised me too - and I’m not even Southern.
Charming: Obviously, I totally agree with you. You are clearly a lady of class
I think I found your blog from the blogroll on “Sandra Dee Dates,” and I stick around because, like so many other commenters, I can identify with so much that you write! (And I just moved to the South and I want advice on dating down here, hehe. Just kidding!)
Charming, I’m a little late to the party like ashpags above but I found you nearly two years ago through the wordpress dashboard. And I stayed because I felt myself saying “Yeeeees, me too!” Plus, you’re hilarious!
And this post is just another one of those. I’m in perfect accordance with you. Butt cheeks in public? Never.
“I stand firm on my stance that no one should be able to see your ass cheeks out in public ever. And you can quote me on that.”
Mercy indeed. A quick on ‘the the back of the envelope calculation’ here may suggest that this one critical missing element from our culture would cost easily in excess of a few 100 of million dollars of revenues for a host of industries, both domestic & foreign. Let us inquire what this brash current of proper prudishness might garner us, shall we?
1.) You’ll easily eliminate about 1/4 to 1/3 of all the topics discussed on ET, Access Hollywood, TMZ & a host of other celebrity obsessed media outlets, to say nothing of the burgeoning print media, which is in fact just about their strongest growth area year after year. If they can’t comment about which starlets breasts were naturally/unnaturally/accidentally exposed along with their nates & nethers, well they’d have to fill all that time with real reporting perhaps. Which we all know is perfectly impossible for most of their staff, leading to the incipient demise of the industry and ensuing massive layoffs.
Think of the 1000’s of once colorful slightly attractive TV personalities slumming it up in every dive bar in hometowns & cities across America. All with the same damn story more or less. ‘I could’ve been a contender, but then the prudes got a hold of our story lines and insisted we only cover well dressed people! Killed us dead I tell you!’ as they’d sobbed into their cheap pitches of beer. They’ll hire the infamous Al Bundy/Ed O’Neill to fight back of course. ‘Everyone knows that one of the principle reasons for even watching TV is for the ever fleeting thrill of seeing an exposed ‘Lady part’ on the tube, or mention of same, and all the tittering associated with this.’ ‘Why oh why would these evil forces want to deny us these small mostly harmless pleasures of life? Simply because they hate us for our Freedoms!’
2.) Which of course will also garner you some deep hatred from… the granny set too. If they can’t go out and ‘prove’ to themselves & their friends that ‘they’ve still got it’ by flashing a bit of skin, well sister, you’ve ruined their idea of a decent night on the town! And their reason for visiting bars & drinking. Which will in turn deeply PO the Beer distributors, the Restaurants, & the wine & liquor industry. If you’ve ruined the very idea of ‘convivial companionship’ & a bit of fun in bars, would Prohibition be far behind? Sales of mixed drinks alone would plummet. Why get snookered and ever go on to imagine that that lovely lass across the way is smiling and flashing you a bit of skin, when we all know that this has been ruled as a severe ‘fashion faux pas’ and almost actionable in certain venues?
3.) But of course then the trouble will really start with the clothiers too. And that’s where the big money is. All those current fashions that look like they were concocted deliberately by devious teen gals bent on nothing more making their parents squirm with embarrassment & discomfort and attracting the wrong sort of attention from All the wrong sorts you know. (Since almost like forever too!) They’ll soon be long drawn out arguments over morality and a woman’s place from the hyper militantly religious demanding new style Hijabs & burquas & chadors to ‘promote modesty’, and then to insist upon it by law. On the very precipice of re-fighting the old ’sex’ wars of the 18 & 19th centuries in the West, the NAM will hire Peg Bundy & a host of ‘American favorite Bimbo’s’ to tour the country promoting the ‘Show us What you’ve got America’ Freedom tour. But still the damage will have been done. Clothing sales will have plummeted in favor of a sturdy out of nowhere movement to ‘make your own @ home!’ design revolution. Factories around the world grow silent as a direct result.
Dear Charming, please reconsider your ill considered and dangerously radical reactionary ideas of ‘modesty’. Our very modern economy depends on the immodesty of nearly everyone, performer & viewer alike! Cheers & Fond regards, ‘VJ’
If you look like a hooker, you’re going to get treated like one. If you look like a Lady, you’re going to be treated like one. A little class could go a long way, and most people I meet seem in desperate need of a drop or two.
I agree with wailin.
If you dress like all you are looking for is sex, then you can’t complain when you keep meeting the wrong kind of men.
I found your blog on the Attractive Nuisance’s blogroll, but she took her blog down in the last year.
I agree totally. I don’t want to see someone dressed all trashy. It does nothing for me. And the guys it does do something for are usually heard saying: “Hey, check out that ‘ho.’”
I absolutely agree. I can’t believe the way that young people dress these days (and although I sound 80, I swear I’m only 32). I pass a school bus stop on my way to work every day, and can’t believe how parents let their kids leave the house. And also, I’ve been mercilessly teased for it? But I’m emphatically PRO-slip. It’s just, I dunno, proper.
Count me in when you form the Granny club. I also like to wear slips, prefer flats than pumps for work (teachers in heels all day? nnooooo!!!). Like you, my mom raised me differently. I like to be comfortable and keep my privates private. If a man gets to see my undies, is because he’s earned it.
Amen on the slip issue. There was nothing I hated more growing up than having to wear a slip with my dress on Sundays. But now that I’m an adult, with a real job, I completely understand the necessity. In addition to covering your lady parts, slips help “streamline” things like bumps, bulges and VPLs. You can’t lose!
I may, or may not, have authored this question: http://www.alphamom.com/smackdown/2007/10/slip_n_slide_the_lost_art_of_u.php#more
When you have Amalah in your corner, you can’t lose!
I guess I have a different perspective….I don’t mind if women dress like that, because it makes it easier to see who is a girl, and who is a woman (girls need not apply). Unfortunately many ‘girls’, regardless of age, fail to realize that people will treat them how they treat themselves. A ‘girl’ will pander to what she thinks others want. A ‘woman’ will hold herself to a higher standard, and expect as much from others. It is a sad but true reflection on how we (as a society) view and value women.
Hey girl, I just meant to say I don’t wear see through clothing. No slips for me, no see through clothing for me. It is a win-win situation. I don’t really understand what all of you are wearing to make them a neccessity. Never heard of seamless panties of the “boy-cut” variety perhaps? Try it, you might like it.
Another commenter mentioned wearing flats to work as if it’s UNfashionable. Have you not noticed the huge comeback they have made? They’re out there in every store in every color, material, pattern and with any kind of embellishment you could imagine. They certainly are not “granny.”
It seems you’ve taken offense to my comment, but that wasn’t my intention. It is sort of offensive that you are of the opinion that in general, women of the 18-25 set dress like tramps, especially if they aren’t wearing slips. You don’t need to be old or slip-wearing to have class. I think what a lot of people are lacking, and this includes many in the 30-45 set too, is common sense. If you really are out of touch, as I suggested, maybe it’s from watching too much Hills? Remember, we all came to the consensus that it’s not really reality. Lauren and the gang don’t actually represent an entire generation. Plus, L.A. is an entirely different world.
P.S. Leggings ARE practical- they are ridiculously comfortable. I thought so the last time they were fashionable too (I believe I was in the 3rd grade?) But, then again, you won’t see me wearing dresses that could be mistaken for shirts any time soon. I really don’t see them as being much different than warm knit tights. Maybe it’s not cold enough in your location to justify this though.
Ummm….Wait until you hit 30. It will be Spanx instead of slips. Oh the fun of aging.
I’m with you Charming… I’m not a Southern Belle! It’s just polite fashion sense… Heck… I didn’t even like it when Rose McGowen showed up on the Red Carpet with a dress specifically DESIGNED to let her ass hang out. Ick..ick..ick.. Keep those naked ass cheeks in private people! ha..ha…ha….
Haha, I wear slips all the time and I’m only 27. I think it has more to do with covering up the boobage. Most of my clothes are not see through, but I wear a lot of wrap dresses and v-neck dresses that show off more than is appropriate for work, enter the wewll placed slip. Plus it adds warmth to summer/spring dresses in my freezing office. I also wear flats but that’s because of a bad back and bad feet. Heels only come out for special occasions. That’s how my mama raised me. I wear her “vintage” slips from the 60’s and 70’s that are beautifully made and silk. I can’t remember how I found your blog, probably from a blogroll that I no longer read. But I find you very entertaining and hope that you keep writing.
Best regards,
MC
28 was my best year yet (and now i’m safely 29, so i can say that with conviction)! and per your prior post, i’ve been reading for, oh, more than a year at least… found you linked from some other blog i can’t remember and no longer read… i just really like your voice and storytelling. so thanks for many good reads!
I’ve become a big fan of Spanx (Target has a cheaper line called Assets that are brilliant., too). “Seamless” panties and others that claim not to show pantylines never quite worked for me, and as for “boy cut ones?” Um, maybe my bum is just bigger than average but I take 2 steps in those and they shimmy halfway up my cheeks creating worse pantylines than regular briefs. Not to mention being uncomfortable.
Now that I’ve left a definitely TMI comment, I think I’ll go now. ; )
Take a bow Charming, you’re so right.
In my 20’s, I threw out all my slips.
Not my best moment but I wasn’t wearing see thru items either.
However, in my 30’s, I realized that one great value of slips is that they seem to smooth everything out. Not to the point of Spanx, of course, but the dress/skirt just seems to drape better and hence, look better. Plus you can’t see my ass cheeks, as you mentioned. And that’s awesome.
I’m 22 and I would never question the validity of the slip.
I think obvious panty lines are powerful enough to ruin what could otherwise be a fabulous outfit. And hanging ass cheeks? Forget it.
You won’t catch this southern rump exposed to the wind.
That’s not how a classy lady rolls.
“Lady Parts” teehee.
Hm. I rarely wear them, but slips can be sexy. Something beautiful, like a Leigh Bantivoglio chemise, is the perfect antidote to a buttoned up skirt suit even if no one but you knows it’s there.
As for young girls, attire, and Brittney as a role model? Check out a dance competition and tell me if you don’t fear for the future of our sex. Eight-year-olds should not be “shakin’ it” in belly shirts. Ever.
Hahahaha… I completely agree. And if you’re not into slips, there is such a wide variety of clever and comfortable undergarments to cover yourself up under a thin, sexy dress. I’m all for the sexy dresses, but I do my best to cover things up underneath. I want to leave something to the imagination, after all. : )
More than anything, I can’t believe how cold some of those skimpy outfits must be. There’s a pretty chilly wind here in winter, and I’ve seen girls wandering round with barely any clothes on even in the coldest weather! I’m amazed their nether (and not-so-nether) regions don’t just turn blue and drop off!
Eh, I must be an old man (in my thirties, no less), but I agree completely. Personally, the outfits that reveal so much aren’t as attractive, to me at least, since nothing is left to the imagination. And isn’t the mystery, being teased a little rather than shown everything right from the start, part of the fun?
Ally, perhaps it was taken wrongly. But at the same time, you don’t have to watch the Hills to see it. Step out on the street and look, really look, around. I work in Kroger and see it all the time.
The bad thing is I’m in Kentucky, so most of the women wearing the limited amount of clothing really should be covering up. My eyes near melting point in the summer.
Dress your weight people! It’s not hard!
Yeah, I know. Almost completely unrelated.
Wailin, amen to that. I’m all for a healthy self image at any weight, but wearing ill fitting clothing that makes one’s body look more like a popped open can of biscuits is just WRONG.
Charming, Rock on. Modesty seems to be the least appreciated virtue these days. There is something to be said for being a “lady in the streets and a ho between the sheets”.
And leggings?
I Luv, love, lurve leggings so much I think I’ll lay out the 8 pairs I just bought in the middle of the floor and roll around naked on them.
Hi. I just found your blog and thing its wonderful so you will be one of the first links I add to mine. You are witty and a good writer. I am pissed off at men and created a blog to vent….but I do love men. Hope you visit!
Oh, and I probably should have commented earlier, but I wasn’t offended by Ally’s comment about me being out of touch, re: the slip. I thought it was kind of funny. It was also interesting — most people were fawning and Ally was kind of comically honest. I mean, I probably say different things on here that could get under people’s skin. It was just funny to me that mentioning a slip (of all things) was a sticking point for someone. (Who is well within her right to get stuck on that and actually kind of cool for being honest.)
The post was meant to be kind of funny/joking in the “if X is wrong, I don’t wanna be right” way. (Kind of like how I wasn’t serious about taunting my vegetarian brother with a turkey leg on Thanksgiving. Even though he did it to me for years and TOTALLY deserved a good teasing. Oh and even though he did put turkey gravy on his mashed potatoes, which I NEVER did in SEVEN vegetarian Thanksgivings, thankyouverymuch.)
What’s even funnier? I haven’t worn a slip in ages. I have before under nice dresses for a special occasion, but I doubt I even own one anymore. But the girl in the restaurant that night? Was in dire need of a slip because you could see right through the back of her dress. No amount of boyshorts or nude seamless panties or whatever else would have worked because you would have been able to seen them. I am sad to say that it is my opinion that a full slip would have been her only savior.
I actually do own boyshorts and seamless panties and tights and a pair of Assets, etc. And I agree that all of these things do help. But I do not own leggings and haven’t since I was in elementary school, when we wore l leggings with lace around the legs — just like DJ Tanner on Full House — aside from wearing them to dance classes or sometimes to the gym. (Now I wear yoga pants.) And I know they are super comfy, but I don’t find them to be particularly flattering on many of the people who wear them, especially the ones that hit mid calf.
I mean, I’m sorry, but a big blousy shirt over tight leggings with heels just doesn’t do it for me. And I’ve seen a lot of really tiny women who could theoretically wear anything look really silly (and much bigger) in such outfits.
That’s just my two cents, of course. And also hopefully the last word on leggings from me.
it’s a commodity issue. Young women don’t have a lot of their own commodity - just starting out in their careers, still developing their own persona - but what they DO have, in spades, is sex appeal. And so they leverage it.
Women in the next bracket - 25-35, say - have more tangible evidence of their success/status: their own home, career successes, perhaps a husband & family. They don’t need to flaunt those OTHER assets, so to speak!
Older women (the bracket that I, personally, have just entered into) generally have much more to offer in terms of their cultivated personalities, their poise developed from navigating through more of this world, and other INTERNAL traits that balance out the fact that we can’t quite pull off the itsy-bitsy-yellow-polka-dot-bikini* bit any longer.
It all evens out, in the end (pun intended).
*or the rhinestone-studded, monogrammed mesh thong
girl, i hear ya — the older i get, the more interested i am in being taken seriously rather than looking fashionable!
and leggings only look good on 0.000003% of the female population.
also, i second the part about the ass cheeks in public. then again, i’m an old fogey like you — 2 months until i’m….EEEEEEEK!!!! 29!!!!
There’s nothing wrong with being both sexy AND covered up. I don’t show my thongs through my clothing and I happen to think I’ve still got it going on.
there is no more mystery if you keep you it up
or as my male friends said, nothing left for the imagination..
but living in japan, heavy makeup , very very short skirt, well i think im getting used to it now