Charming, but single

For months and months I have marveled at many trends in fashion – ridiculously large flowing dresses that overwhelm the frames of tiny women leaving them looking pregnant and spandex leggings that hit legs at mid-calf, reminiscent of my childhood and flattering no one, for starters.

One trend I’ve often chuckled at is that of the needless belt, where the wearer takes something that does not require help to stay up, like a sweater or a dress, and belts it anyway, as if to say, “It is physically impossible for this shirt to accidentally fall off, but stranger things have happened.”

And I’ve been ignoring this trend of Needless Belting all of this time because it seemed so, well, fussy. And while I am fussy about many things, I try to avoid piling on fussy accessories each day – you won’t catch me wearing big earrings to the office or an armful of bangle bracelets anywhere.

But then I got this sweater. And the description won’t do it justice and I don’t have a picture, but it is an open sweater jacket with a cowl-type neckline. Sounds awful, but it is actually adorable over a little camisole. It is a deep rose color and it looks great with my skin, but when I wear it I feel as if I’m stealing a page from Rue McClanahan’s “Golden Girls” wardrobe book. And even though I know the sweater is cute and it is extremely comfortable and it gets a lot compliments, the two times I’ve worn it, I found myself constantly adjusting it to keep it close to closed or at least evenly spaced across my chest.

Some of the more fashionable women at work suggested a belt would keep it closed and cinch my waist in a little. And I just smiled and nodded, thinking, “I can promise you will never find me belting something that doesn’t require a belt. Ever.”

But wouldn’t you know that I spied a slim-ish belt with a nice buckle on it when I was shopping Saturday and I thought I’d slip it on to see how silly it looked on me. And before I knew what was happening, I bought the belt and, well, when I tried it on with the sweater later at home, it looked cute. Really cute.

And before I knew what was happening, I was trying on different sweaters with the belt and, um, I’m 90 percent converted. I’m saving that last 10 percent for when I actually venture out of the house in said Needlessly Belted Ensemble.

My girlfriends have warned me that The Belting Of That Which Shall Not Be Belted confuses many men, which does confirm what I’ve heard and suspected, that men are put off by overly fashionable outfits because they worry that women who wear such clothes will be high maintenance. My friends report a myriad of annoying questions from guys about “Why you’re wearing that belt for no reason.”

I’m planning on saying, “Because it is fabulous.”