The Bridesmaid Countdown December 5, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Bridesmaiding, Friends, Listing is fun and easy, My family is sure I will never marry, Single Girl Cliches, Weddings.trackback
So The Bride (aka Best Friend Ever) and I were chatting the other night about getting into the Wedding Home Stretch. Though she’s had a snag or two, she seems relatively calm and ready. I’ve been busily making preparations of my own for her upcoming nuptials, as they are six(ish) weeks away.
The done:
- Purchased plane ticket for upcoming bachelorette party
- Arranged transport with Maid of Honor from airport to The Bride’s house for weekend of said party
- Purchased dress (remember how fun THAT was?)
- Scheduled pre-Christmas eyebrow waxing
- Arranged hotel stay for wedding (will bunk with fellow bridesmaid First College Roommate)
- Gained approval for days off from work for wedding festivities
- Solved dry skin dilemma (I’m sure I’m jinxing myself, but I’ve been using Nivea Body Essentially Enriched lotion for “very dry, rough skin,” because we all know how I am about my elbows, and I am impressed.)
- Located dress for Rehearsal Dinner (opted to wear Christmas party dress, as wedding is in January)
- Scheduled hair appointment for the Wedding Day (fine, The Bride did that for us)
- Google Mapped the hotel and reception locale
- Grumbled each time I see the promos for “27 Dresses” (fine, it looks cute and I know I’ll see it because Katherine Heigl is my new girl crush)
- Attended one shower
- Purchased one shower gift
The undone:
- Scheduled pre-wedding eyebrow waxing and mani/pedi
- Purchased plane ticket for wedding (plans hinge on a family member)
- Determined how to get a floor-length gown to fit into luggage suitable to be carried onto a plane without crushing and/or wrinkling said dress into oblivion, because after all I went though to get it, the damn thing is NOT getting checked so that the airline can lose it)
- Purchased silver shoes for wedding
- Assessed the bra situation with said dress (must make crucial halter v. strapless decision)
- Purchased wedding present
- Purchased gag gifts for bachelorette party
- Returned RSVP card
- Purchased teeth whitening strips for pre-wedding smile touch-up
- Planned post-reception Wedding Party drinking extravaganza
- Located lost digital camera
The not happening:
- Finding a date for the wedding
- Coming to terms with the fact that this all is really happening
I’m sure I’m forgetting something that is very important that I’ll remember as I step onto the plane. Isn’t that how it goes?
There is one thing that I am dreading, putting off, probably never going to do. I am unsure how the toasts are working for the Rehearsal Dinner. I need to talk to the Maid of Honor about her plans, as it is improper for a bridesmaid to outdo the maid of honor. That, of course, is merely an excuse. I have no reason to believe that there is any problem with me offering a toast at the dinner.
I just don’t know what to say or how to put it or what words are right. And this is made more frustrating by the fact that I write, well, all of the time. By the fact that I am professional writer of things for other people to say. By the fact that, oh dear, The Bride often comments that “[Charming], you just have a way of putting things.”
Truth be told, there are a million things to say to the woman who most gets you on the occasion of her marriage. For the life of me, I can’t narrow it down to just one. And my eyes well up at the thought of it, so I’m putting this off until the end, or maybe not at all.
I have this inkling that in the moment, standing there with glass raised, I will pause and look at my best friend, sitting next to her future husband, surrounded by our friends and their families and the words will just come the way the tears do now.
This was absolutely lovely.
Also - I roll things up. As in lay them flat and roll them as you would a poster. More packing space and no wrinkles. Try it with a dress with similar fabric to see how it works out, but if there’s no crinoline or taffeta, I think you shall be okay.
Rolling works pretty well, you can always steam or iron it back into shape afterwards. Or you can simply make the dress itself your carry-on, put it in a garment bag and they’ll hang it on the plane for you. Most planes have a little open closet near the front for hanging dresses or suits when needed.
As for the toast… when I got married my dad kept stressing out about making a toast. He almost drove me up the wall b/c he seemed so worried about what to say, didn’t think he’d be able to say anything good, was totally nervous about it all. In the end, his toast was my favorite of all. Simple, sweet, short, lovely, heart-felt. He needn’t have worried so much, and my guess is neither do you. =)
Ugh, this was a moment of pure stress for me when my best friend got married, too. It finally came to me the night before the wedding- a phrase she always told me during tough times and what I felt would be a good motto towards any marriage- “Everything works, just not always the way you thought it would.” Even if you get up and blubber away, I’m sure she’ll remember it as the most perfect thing you could possibly say.
And then the evening will move on, as life does, and you can enjoy your fabulous post-reception soiree where you drunkenly recite everything you should have said.
Sounds like you got a lot accomplished! I think going for what you feel in the moment is a great idea. She’s going to love it no matter what!
Y’all, I cannot ROLL my bridesmaid dress! You can roll shirts and skirts and other things, but not this dress. It is satin, which wrinkles, and it has pick-ups along the back of the skirt. (They “popped” one of the pick-ups mailing it to me, but my mom is an expert seamstress and can fix it.)
So between the fabric and the detailing (the back simply cannot be ironed) rolling this dress is a REALLY BAD IDEA. Sure, I’ll probably be able to locate a steamer when I get there, but not to remove major wrinkles caused by rolling.
Anyway, I’m going to talk to the flight attendants on my flight to the bachelorette party (I’ll be taking the same flight for the wedding) to make sure they have a place to accommodate garment bags. (Smaaaaall plane.)
Airlines are getting more picky about allowing items in the closet. Also since you are flying on probably a CR-J or ER-J there isn’t a closet on that plane. I wouldn’t roll the dress either. Don’t overpack your carryon because the more you mash in it the more likely the dress will get wrinkles. Leave the dress in the dry cleaner bag and fold gently accordian style. The dry cleaner bag will help resist wrinkles. Also don’t put your toiletries in the same suitcase. Spilled perfume or shampoo could spell disaster for the dress! Make it the last thing in the bag and the first thing you hang up on arrival.
Also could you bring the dress down when you go for the bachelorette party and drop it at a quality dry cleaners for steaming?
I had to fly from tampa to chicago to be the maid of honor for my best friends wedding…and I had the mother of the bride with me…so we had 2 dresses we didn’t want to check…What I did was I went to Target and I bought a tri-folding garment bad that had a shoulder strap and used that for both dresses…that was my carryon…it worked perfectly…and the bad was only like 50 bucks and I use it every time i travel now.
Go with Jen, or just SHIP the dress ahead. The latter can easily be done for about $50 or less fully insured.
Then google ‘weddings and/or marriage’, find a suitable droll series of quotes or aphorisms about same, and then do some improv work around them to suit your needs & the circumstances. If ‘I am professional writer of things for other people to say’ then this Will be expected of you. No pressure now, but it’s one of the best gifts you can give your freind, other than being there to share in her happy day. (And making certain all the details are nailed down to ensure that it all comes off as smoothly as possible, if this is also expected).
Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
I don’t think that my sister gave any thought to what she would say at the toast at my wedding - someone asked her right before she was called up on the stage if she wanted to say somthing and she agreed. It was very sweet and heartfelt, she cried a little and told us to get busy on the baby making as she wanted a little girl to play with! It was totally off the cuff and totally perfect! You will be fine!!
I stressed out on what I should say at my best friend’s wedding as well because I felt sooo emotional about it and soooo many things that I felt I should say but I felt that if I planned it out it would come out too forced and not be as genuine as I wanted it to. I didn’t want it to sound like I was doing a public speaking engagement! So I had some ideas and I kinda just went with it when the moment came…it was definitely emotional and even a little funny at the same time and I welled up but managed not to sound like a blubbering fool.
The words will come, they did for me at my BFF’s wedding in september. I didn’t plan what i would say, but everyone says it was the best toast of the night. Funny and sentimental. Good luck and have fun.
How about FedEx the dress there for the bachelorette party, have it steamed and stored by a family member/friend of the Bride? Perhaps a dress should could help you box it to minimize wrinkling.
Wow…who knew so much was involved?! I am the best man in a good friend’s wedding, and I’m pretty much going to do the bachelor party, and then show up to the wedding. God help m if I have a list half as long as yours!!!
oh, now MY eyes are welling up with tears, just reading that!!!!
and my brain hurts from thinking about everything involved in getting ready for this big event! WOW!
i’m glad that i’ve never been in a wedding party….sounds like a big, expensive pain in the ass. but it also sounds like fantastic memories.
hope you find that camera!
What a beautiful post!
Here’s my 2 cents: When I was Maid of Honor at my best friend’s wedding, one of the bridesmaids gave a beautiful toast at the rehearsal dinner, and to be honest, although the toast was great, I was a little ticked off that she didn’t ask me about it first. I was scheduled to give a toast at the reception, and I would have liked to make sure that we weren’t saying the same things (which we wound up doing). I think if you bring it up with the Maid of Honor, you’d be following the unwritten rules of wedding etiquette, and I’m sure she would have absolutely no problem with you giving a toast. If that bridesmaid would have just mentioned it to me beforehand, I would have totally encouranged her and just tweaked my toast to make it a little more unique.
Does that help? : )
No, your toast should be extremely easy. I remember welling up a few months ago from that post you wrote ” I Carry My Heart” about your friendship with her and how she gets you. Use that as a starting point and take things from there. It was truly beautiful.
To quote you to you:
You understand me in a way that no one else does and you will never judge me in spite of all of my silliness, my insecurities, my flaws. {..} These tears, the ones I’m crying right now, are painfully joyful. Knowing that you are loved completely, that you’ve found the man who not only matches you but sees your fascinating layers and complements all of the best things about you makes my heart is so full that it just might burst.
it’s true. as MOH for my bestest college girlfriend, I was sure I’d choke at the toast, but when the moment came, I looked at the two of them, and The Words just came. And they brought many a tearful reaction, with them (even from the groom’s side, many of which had never even met the bride).
[...] lately. It’s the holidays and I’ve been busy. Work. Shopping. A weekend trip out of town for Best Friend Ever’s bachelorette party. (Side note: I felt much like country mouse gone to the city. Where I’m [...]