Warning: Do not invite me to be your bridesmaid January 8, 2008
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Bridesmaiding, Family, General Clumsiness and Related Stupidity, My family is sure I will never marry, Sad but true, Seriously!, Weddings.trackback
Seriously, people, you do not want me to be your bridesmaid. I promise.
My bridesmaid dress? Was a touch tight. And I was walking out the door to have a seam or two taken out and talking to my mom and she suggested, brilliantly, that I call back Massive Chain Bridal Store to see if they had one size larger.
I told her this never would happen, that the dress was discontinued when I ordered it, that they simply didn’t have the size I’d originally wanted. But I called them anyway and wouldn’t you know they had the larger size at one store in California.
With shipping, both dresses cost less than one at full price. And after some mix ups with the shipping, the dress arrived Friday evening and I tried it on Saturday morning.
And it was too big.
Not a little bit too big. Like much too big. I wondered if wearing the too tight dress was a better option. The dress seemed much more than one size bigger. The neckline drooped low, the halter straps were five or six inches too long, the hem pooled on the floor and the back of the dress stuck out almost two inches away from my back.
Thankfully, my mom is an expert seamstress. She fixed the halter, which pulled the neckline and hemline up correctly. Then she reached under the arms and tucked each side in about two inches and sewed it down. The bodice fit perfectly and though the fabric puffed a little under the arms, she ordered me to keep my arms down during the ceremony.
Crisis averted, right?
Wrong.
A few weeks ago I rolled my ankle while grocery shopping. I slipped and caught myself and my ankle was swollen for a few days. I’d assumed I could walk off this minor injury. I iced the ankle. I elevated the ankle. I took Aleve. I wore flats.
To no avail. My ankle and calf hurt all the way from the weekend before Christmas to the present. Worried that I’d cracked a bone – I once cracked four main bones in my right foot and walked on it for days, so I know this is possible – I opted to visit a doctor.
And wouldn’t you know, it isn’t broken. It is terribly sprained, necessitating a big black cast boot. (That very thankfully comes off.)
The Bride took the news very well. I am scoping out silver ballet flats to wear instead of my silver and rhinestone strappy sandals. And thankfully the dress has a huge skirt and the boot shouldn’t be visible.
The good news: Instead of being The Single Bridesmaid or The Pudgy Bridesmaid, I will now be The Hobbling Bridesmaid, which I can handle.
[...] A feast fit for a champion January 8, 2008 Posted by charmingbutsingle in Being Southern, Cooking, It’s a strategy, Men, Smack Talking. trackback Note: Two posts today! After this, go read about my latest bridesmaid debacle. [...]
I sprained my foot about 10 days ago and have been alternating walking off the pain, and taking heaps of Advil. It’s still painful, although in the mean time I’ve been to a music festival, a concert, a night out on the town in heels, I cycle every day, I’ve been wearing flip-flops (it’s the hight of summer here in Australia), I also have been for 3 or 4 long walks (as in 3 hour-walks)… my question is, dearest Charming — should I be worried that my foot isn’t going to heal? I’m terrified of the concept of a big black cast boot!!!! (there are no words to express how terrified I am) Would you have been able to do all these activities or would it have been too painful for you? I’m trying to work out if I’m wise to ignore the pain.
(PS. I’m a regular reader and have been here for years — I didn’t find you by googling “sprained ankle”!)
Hey, now you have a conversation starter! Just make up some fabulous tale about how it happened. I once met a guy in a bar with an arm cast who spun an entire story of how he saved a young surfer from drowning but was inadvertently caught in a shark attack. Did I believe a word? No, but was my interest peaked? Absolutely.
I also onced danced a formal night away in a walking cast boot and full length dress. And if it starts to hurt, just consider yourself on the LSU sidelines dying to get back in the game and I’m sure you’ll get enough adrenaline pumping to boogie with the best of them…with your arms half raised of course!
Sorry for your pain, but I know you’ll make the best of it!
And I was going to ask you to be MY Groomsmaid, too. Damn you, Charming!
Sorry about the ankle, but as long as you’re not Pudgy Bridesmaid I don’t think anyone will even notice. Unless you try to reenact the Funny Walk skit by Monty Python… which would be hilarious.
A sprain that requires a boot must have been brutal. At least you have a good excuse to wear comfortable shoes to the wedding.
I just got out of my boot a couple of days ago! It was on for six weeks and it was awful. But I made the best of it one sad night home when my friends were out dancing. Little crystals and a hot glue gun. I got more comments on that boot than any pair of shoes I’ve ever worn!
Princess, I’d say that’s…
BEDAZZLING!
*jazz hands*
if youre in the boot at the wedding at least any groomsman with even a HINT of good manners (i hear theyre all over the place down south by you) will be obligated to bring you constant stream of champagne and whatnot. i should hope anyway.
I had to wear a sweet black boot for a couple of long months, but honestly, it’s a great conversation starter. Do not be afraid to wear it to bars–it makes you look all hard core, but still pretty and charming! I also went on my first date with my Fiji wearing it and three months later he asked me to move in, so maybe it’s a MAGIC boot?!!
Also, GO LSU! I hate those Buckeyes with a passion the strength of a thousand suns.
Rosie — I wouldn’t have been able to cycle too much, though I did do a little on an exercise bike and it didn’t kill me. I definitely finished my Christmas shopping, let my friends drag me all over the mall looking for New Year’s outfits, chased after my two year old cousin and walked many blocks on New Year’s. (Of course, I did this all in flats because it hurt too much to wear heels.) I’m not in intense pain. But the pain is dull and aching and did not go away for more than two weeks, so I figured I needed to at least have an X ray.
Also, I would have put this off if I wasn’t flying out to be a bridesmaid on Thursday. I didn’t want to risk have an actual injury and having to see medical attention out-of-town.
LMAO “the Hobbling bridesmaid” LMAO
So dude? That’s freaking hilarious. Does this always happen when you bridesmaid?
Thanks Charming… I might take it to the doctor’s if it goes on hurting then.
haha … “hobbling bridesmaid”
well if it makes you feel any better I was the “cover up all your tattoos because my fiances family is uptight and ignorant” bridesmaid. yeah, seriously. i had makeup all over my arm, and back. shes lucky i love her so much. i would NEVER do that for anyone.
p.s. i love your blogs
Oh my goodness! That is too funny! I’m amidst preparations to be a bridesmaid (again!) in June and I know that this bride would FLIP if I showed up in a boot! ha ha… of course, our dresses are tea length… oh the horror! Hope everything goes well and that you have a wonderful time at the wedding. I love your blog and wish you nothing but the best! Cheers!
What’s tea length?
Yeah, I’m a guy.
WTF is up with bridal dress sizing? the last time i was a bridesmaid, they had me order something that is about 6 sizes bigger than i normally wear, and then i had to spend $100 in alterations because i was swimming in it! hmmm… could the dress stores be in cahoots with the taylor shops?? methinks so.
You’re lucky that your mom is a seamstress! I would’ve been out of luck if that happened to me.
My eyes sort of glazed over when you were talking about the tailoring and whatnot, but the boot part definitely made up for it! If you happen to get a bit tipsy in the boot, you can at least blame it on that, and have (hopefully) nice men fawning over your gimpiness!
I got all gimpy from a lacrosse injury during college, and I was stuck on crutches for a few weeks. Though it was painful, I had one girl who did my laundry, another who would bring me food, another would carry my books, etc. I didn’t *need* any of it, but why would someone say no?!
Oh boy, what a disaster. : ) So sorry to hear about your ankle! Hopefully it’s getting better as the days go on. I had a similarly horrific bridesmaid dress fiasco, and with a little do-it-yourself alterations, it was good enough. Weddings are all about the bride anyway, so don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine, I’m sure.