Vague, take three March 9, 2008
Posted by charmingbutsingle in General Clumsiness and Related Stupidity, I will never ever actually admit to this ever, It's a strategy, Men, Single Girl Cliches, Trips to the past.trackback
It was easy and effortless to see him again. He smells like himself, but it doesn’t feel as comforting when he places a hand in the curve of my hip, like I used to love.
Yes, that’s the truth. He’s not the same when I’m not seeing him through romantically rose colored glasses and a heady mixture of lust and optimism that kept me swooning each time I was around him. The little things I used to think were cute border on annoying now. His playful voice sounds childish to my experienced ears. And I didn’t expect for him to be quite so damaged and chatty about his last relationship.
“I’ve always been goofy,” he said when I rolled my eyes at a comment. “You know this about me.”
And I do. But I’d overlooked it because I’d liked him so much.
With everything – our past, his actions, my hurt feelings – out in the open, we can still have a good time. I was much more relaxed and everything, especially our intentions, seemed much more honest.
It is different, but I don’t regret seeing him.
For now, I’ll play it by ear. Because if it was so easy to see him again, I reason cutting off contact will be just a simple, even though my head tells me this probably just isn’t so.
wow, that’s pretty brave. as hard as i want to stay in touch with exes after breakups, most of them would be so painful to see …
Heh, you’re gutsier than me, going down this path, and I give you credit for that. Hope you get out of it exactly what you desire.
very brave.
sadly, when we are in love we make a man so much better than he is in reality.
I’m glad it worked out for you.
Going back to a loved always seems as a double sword to me. It’s good to demystify people, but we also run the risk of getting hurt yet again. I hope it works out for you.
Is this the Nurse? If so, this is a bad bad idea. proceed with Caution my friend.
Very brave indeed. Good vibes are being sent your way
I know the feeling….I had this awhile ago with a long time FWB. It was sad, as I had to mourn the loss of a relationship (however f’d up and drama-filled) that I enjoyed for so long.
Sounds to me like you’re playing with fire, Charming. And without knowing you or the details, treating this vague situation carelessly could be treating your heart and well-being carelessly as well. And you, of course, deserve more than that.
It’s never “easy come, easy go” I’m afraid, especially when there’s a painful history.
It feels so good when you are back with someone that you really liked. But at the same time was not matched well with you, Even in my young years I still sit and think about calling up my ex, then reality sets in.
He is still gonna be that arse-hat that he has always been, which ever way we look at it, even if they change, they don’t seem to change enough for us, because we cannot seem to stop looking back on the coulda, shoulda, woulda’s
Okay I am done, I think I felt a flash back about my ex while writing this.. lol
Single
Okay, I know I’m new here, but I don’t understand why you’re doing this? He doesn’t seem to bring much to the party–he’s goofy, he’s hurt you–why does he get your time?
Yes of course it’s the Nurse, Silvs. She told us it wasn’t the Blackberry when people guessed him but remained silent when we guessed the Nurse. It’s the Nurse.
I don’t think that going back to someone ever really works out in the end. I agree with Trish…he doesn’t really deserve you.
I don’t think I’m brave – I think I have needs to be filled. That’s all this is. And it doesn’t really matter WHO it is with, does it? I don’t think it does …
Umm… it does because he is no longer the same guy from round one. He has a responsibility to his baby and the baby’s mother, so if he couldn’t be yours 100 % the first time with no commitments, how can he be yours now with dependents?
Who said I wanted him to be mine? I said I needs to be filled.
Fabulous blog entry!
I so wish I had that option to meet with some men from my past who I still look back on with rose coloured specs.
O how true….I just started blogging about someone who changed my life…because I saw him through rose colored glasses. When I see him now I’m astounded that I gave him so much of me!
i bet it feels great. i know that the first time that i started to realize that i had taken off the rose colored glasses I started to feel better, to feel like I was slowly going to be able to open up to someone else. It hasn’t happened yet, but I am going to his (aka PFM – Perfect for Me) wedding this summer and am scared shitless. I think that it will be great for me. close the door on this and open it on something new. I’ll let you know how it goes. Keep your chin up and i am so proud of you for stepping out of the comfort zone and seeing him.
I hope all things work out well, and that you know yourself well enough to know what you can handle but I have to throw in one word of caution (that I’m assuming you’ve considered, but which blindsided me in a similar situation).
You’re pretty sure you can walk away with your heart protected, but what if he does? How ill it feel to lose someone that you weren’t that invested in in the first place? This can be even more of an ego blow than a real relationship.
But if you can manage no strings attached to your puppet I’m sure he can be fun to play with for now.
I rarely comment but I just wanted to say I wish you were posting more often. I LOVE your blog [it's like online chick-lit] and you seem to be posting less and less… and this worries me because I really love reading your entries.
That is all.
DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!! DANGER!!!!
get out now, while you still can. this guy (and i know who it is, too!!!) is a total and complete waste of your time. he treats women (and not just you!) like crap and you know it.
and even if he’s not, then where is this going? i know where! nowhere. at best! at worst, you will get hurt again, which can really damage your self-esteem (I am speaking from experience).
why are you letting someone do this to you???? you deserve better than this. you are letting him control you emotions. you are living in the past, instead of living for your future.
i swear i am thisclose to driving down there and slapping some sense into you, girl!!! aaaaargh.
i love ya. stop doing this. just stop. it’s not healthy. i feel like i am commenting on a drug addict’s blog.
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