My life is a bad Cathy cartoon August 17, 2008
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Evil Mattress of Evil, My family is sure I will never marry, Single Girl Cliches.trackback
So I haven’t had anything much to write about lately. I’ve been meeting myself coming and going with boring grown-up things and dating (or my complete lack of participation in anything resembling it) has been so far from my mind. Sure, I have a slew of witty stories about my family torturing me for being a spinster at the ripe age of 28, including how my mom joked with the insurance guy about needing a database of single men with the same insurance company so I could marry into a multi-line discount. I couldn’t make that up if I wanted to.
But eventually those stories get old. And I know because I live them. And they’re past old. They’re ancient.
I found a great new place with a great new landlord who was kind enough to give me a few free weeks to move. The place is smaller, but it has gorgeous wood floors and thick crown molding. It is surrounded by lovely houses and beautiful trees and a gorgeous neighborhood with uneven sidewalks that have already proven to be my downfall – walking down the street I faceplanted in my red patent heels, sending my work bag tumbling and ripping my cute pinstriped crops. Just four (or so) blocks from the park and a hop, skip and a jump from work, I feel as If everything is just perfect there.
And while simplifying my life to fit in my new, character-filled place seemed like a noble quest, I have found downsizing my stuff to be less fulfilling than I’d hoped. Most notably, this has been an exercise in reminding myself “this is why you still rent.” So many clothes I’ve barely worn, so much clutter of stuff I rarely use. Some people make major financial mistakes – buying cars they can’t afford, gambling away their money, opening too many credit cards. My biggest problem is in the small things and the dinners out. It is as if this year I woke up and said, “Hey, maybe I should save my money to invest it in real estate, yeah that would be a good idea.”
Sure, I say that in one breath and in the next I giggle about finally getting a new bed and replacing my hand-me-down one that is probably too gross for any human to have slept on and a new (albeit inexpensive) couch. I actually don’t feel bad about either of these purchases, as I let the knowledge of my goal of house-owning inform my purchases and picked pieces that would serve me well in a house later on. Plus, I’m sorry, I had a freaking spring poke through such a long time ago and I’m sure the time-tested “flipping the mattress” method wasn’t going to work forever.
The biggest change is the lack of closet space. I’m downsizing from a walk-in with built-in shoe shelf to one and a half small closets. Today I purchased an over-the-door shoe organizer and I was appalled to see that the largest one I could find held only 12 pairs of shoes. ONLY 12 PAIRS OF SHOES. (Unless you double up, which I can with some, but that makes the whole thing less shocking.)
Which lead to an awkward conversation with my Mom.
“Who has more than 12 pairs of shoes,” she asked incredulously. I looked down at the floor and shuffled back and forth, pleading the fifth. And she started needling me a little bit and asking me “How many pairs of shoes do you have, Imelda?” in this judgmental tone that should be reserved for more serious questions like, “How many men have you slept with?”
And I finally just said, “Enough.”
Because she can try to set me up with her co-workers and random guys she sees on the street. She can turn an unrelated situation into a discussion of my singleness. But no one – and I mean no one – questions the shoes.
This is adorable. And for the record, everyone deserves more than 12 pairs of shoes.
Congrats on the new place. Despite the smaller size, I think you’ll find the character of the neighborhood makes up for it. Trees are always a good thing.
Nice punch at the end of the post too.
And why should dating the one thing you should find not boring? Do you WANT to date? And what if you did NOT want to think about it for a while? and what if that was not everybody’s destiny in life to date, find a mate and create a family? who says what we are supposed to want? and when? is it what you want? is it what you want NOW? I have read a lot about what your family seems to want for you but for a while I don’t remember reading about your dreams… where did they go?
Fairy Tales Suck — I mentioned that I haven’t been doing anything resembling dating to explain why I haven’t written much substantial comment on my single/dating blog. In quite some time. You know, when you start a blog about your dating life and you name it “Charming, but Single” and then you don’t write about dating for awhile, you want to explain it when you don’t? Right? Just me? Hmm.
I didn’t mean to insinuate that my entire life was boring, just that I’ve been swamped. I actually have a lot of interesting things going on — but I obey a strict “thou shalt not blog about work” rule here.
So, and I mean this in the most polite way possible, chill please? Not every post has to be about my dreams and hopes for life. Sometimes I just like to make fun of my Mom and write about shoes.
I made the mistake of saying to my family “Maybe I am not meant to settle down and have babies, who knows what my life will bring?”. I think they all went into shock. Here I thought that the times had changed somewhat and a woman didn’t have to define her life by marriage and babies, oops.. guess not! How dare I scare my family like that????
I totally agree about no one questioning the shoes. And my mom has said the same thing. And I have 2 shoe racks and there’s still shoes that sit on the floor. 12 spaces is a joke. A walk-in closet just for shoes is my dream
Yeah who has 12 pairs of shoes? That’s definitely not enough! I have way more than 30 pairs, and I am planning to purchase an over-the-door shoe organizer from bedbath and beyond that holds over 30 pairs. You should look into it! Congrats on the move!
On shoes I kinda agree with Sarah (or was it Jane?) from Coupling: “Blokes just don’t have enough shoes! Their feet become sort of marinated”. (Oh, and I’m a bloke, and I own, what, 4 pairs of shoes, but I see the error of my ways and I would like totally buy more shoes if I didn’t need money for more important stuff such as CDs, books and t-shirts…)
Aaaah and Patsy from AbFab: “You can never have enough hats, gloves and shoes!” (I make up in hats what I am lacking in shoes.)
I have tons of sympathy… I have always had more than 12 pairs of shoes (my question is - WHY would you only have 12 pairs??? That isn’t even work/going out/vacation/workout friendly.)
I have to admit - I have at least 60-80 pairs of shoes at any given time… My rule is that the number of pairs has to stay below 100 (& I don’t invite comments from my Mother, Father or my Husband on this as they have NO fashion).
Yes - I do actually wear ALL of those shoes - some are for work, some are for going out, some are for the gym… You see where I’m going with this?
I love shoes… They make me feel better about the rest of myself! (Especially when you are having a Bad Hair or Feel Fat day… Your feet can look pretty awesome!)
So - I think the question should be… Why don’t they make shoe organizers for MORE than 12 pairs of shoes? I will definitely look into the Bed, Bath & Beyond organizer! (Thx SheComesFirst).
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your shoe ‘habit’… there are a lot WORSE habits to have!
Um, I don’t even consider myself a show freak and I have well over 12 pairs. Sure, most of them hardly ever see the light of day, but then when I try to part with them it’s bitter agony. When you consider all the different needs we have for footwear– casual sandals/flip flops, work-out, semi-dressy, funky dressy, work-appropriate, and needing a few color variations of each (ok, maybe not thw work0out ones, but all the others) it’s hard to stay UNDER 12 pairs!
I refuse to get dragged down the slippery slope of the “how many pairs of shoes do you have? are you sure you need a new one? don’t you have one very similar to this? but you cannot even walk in those” etc etc. The only person who gets to have opinions on my shoe purchasing habits are people whose names appear at the top of my credit card bill i.e. only myself currently.
I honestly know I could not survive in a world where I only possessed 12 pairs of shoes. I am renting a little house and my shoes have their very own room! Enjoy your footwear!
I don’t think there is such a thing as a “Good Kathy cartoon”
I can totally relate to small apartments with hardly any space. Hopefully there is a way that you don’t have to downsize your shoe collection. Owing multiple pairs of shoes is essential… almost like breathing. LOL.
I have at least 12 pairs of JUST flip flops! Who is she kidding! I will never in my life understand how men get by with just a few pair…it baffles the mind! Oh well, that just leaves more room for mine
Congrats on the new place! thats awesome! and as far as the shoes go I am totally with you…. I have MORE than enough pairs and still I find times where I feel like I just dont have the right pair, and I can always find news must haves! Dont let go of the shoes… and good luck in the new home!
How can anyone only own 12 pairs of shoes?! That’s the better question.
I had to downsize my shoe collection from 44 to 34 and my parents weren’t even impressed. It was a sacrifice, I tell you!
This must be universal, everytime I mention the number of shoes my wife has in the closet she threatens to go through and count my boxes of computer junk in the garage… I quickly drop the subject.
I bet your mom has more than 12 pairs. I was gabberflasted when I actually counted. Tell me your number and I’ll tell you mine
My Mother has 78 pairs of shoes and when she looks at me and says who has 12 pairs of shoes, she is really making fun of me and telling me I’m a pauper for having so few shoes. Also? You can have her if you’d like!
For the record, I have more than 12 pairs of shoes too! Did your mom REALLY say that to the insurance guy? Wow!
Congrats on the new place! Homeownership ain’t all it’s cracked up to be! I’m not digging it myself!
So your name is “Imelda”?
Just the post title alone is genius. I wonder what my life is, then. A bad “Far Side” cartoon? As long as it’s not one of those “serious” cartoons. Why do they even do those, anyway?
“A Woman’s Right to Shoes.”
My most favourite S&tC episode ever.
I think I only own 12 pairs of shoes. Actually, I’m not even sure I own 12 pairs. But I’m sure there’s something else I spend my money on, that would seem outrageous to someone else. As long as you aren’t living in a van down by the river, I’m not sure it matters.
After recently purchasing my first home, my only answer to the question “So, what’s new and interesting?” has just been some unending babble about popcorn ceilings, Dewalt vs. Black and Decker tools, and hand cramps from painting. I keep hoping that I’ll meet a cute boy in Home Depot because that is where I spend all my time now… ah, the joys of homeownership. Congrats!
Realized that you said landlord. Feeling like dummy. Was lead astray by commenters… Srry.
If it helps, you can tell your Mom that I have an entire extra bedroom of our apartment designated as my shoe room.
i cosign on “just a girl’s” comment. “A Woman’s Right to Shoes” is one of the best SATC episodes!
I left 12 pairs of shoes behind a long time ago. Shoot, I have more than 12 pairs of flip flops.
I recently downsized, and my shoes barely fit in my miniscule closet. Such is life!
I totally understand the “small things and dinners out.” I feel like all of my money goes to bills and then a few t-shirts and stupid things. I’m really working on it!
I took 15 pairs of shoes on a 7 day vacation last year, so don’t feel bad at how many you own. Bed Bath and Beyond has a 36-pair over-the-door rack, that holds shoes or boxes. It is really nice. They also have an organizer that has 24 pockets and hangs on the rod in the closet, and I put 2-4 pairs per pocket (although I have to replace it every 18 months or so because the weight of the shoes causes the top to rip off it and send the entire thing onto the floor!) Each is about $25-$30. Good investment for a small closet, though! There is also a rack (I found them at LTD for less, but QVC.com has them now) that is round, sits on the floor, and hold three tiers of six pairs each. Lots of shoe storage options so you can keep buying what you love!
I stumbled upon your blog not too long ago and just had to comment in regards to the shoes. I have been called Imelda so many times in my life that I’ve become completely immune to it. I realize that to some that is supposed to be a criticism, but hey! Everyone has to have an addiction to something, right? And why shouldn’t it be shoes?! I read some of your past blog entries to catch up to where you are now and I love the posts with pictures of the shoes. Fantastic!
Whenever anyone asks me why I have so many pairs of shoes, I always have the same answer: “You can never feel fat in shoes.” So, on those days when you just couldn’t bare to buy a new swimsuit or a new top because you don’t feel like you’re looking your best, there is always a complimentary pair of shoes to be found!
Just found your blog off of PPD or Flat Coke & Flies can’t remember which. I will be back. And I loved the Insurance Guy story. Made me LMAO.
28–yet you call yourself a “spinster”? I make a living editing and, young lady, I should point out this is the wrong use of the word “spinster.”
You are a vibrant, witty, charming woman with countless dating years ahead–and many more blog posts left on this topic.
My shoes is where I draw the line. I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs…let me buy my damn cute shoes and live in peace. They make me feel confident, sexy and strong and if that’s what it takes, then I’ll keep them all!
I honestly have no idea how many pairs of shoes I have, but I have an ‘over the door’ thing that holds 24 pairs, a hanging one in the closet that holds 12 pairs and at least 12 more boxes of shoes. And yet, I always need more.
Here’s to new shoes–may they last longer than the men in our lives!*
I’m glad I’m not the only single woman who, (for lack of the first preference of a roaring sex life) compensates with fantastic shoes and real estate. Rock on.
- just happened across your blog, love it. Especially the title. We must have so much in common
When I moved into my apartment I built shoe shelves into the back of my closet. They were full. It has been a year and now they are overflowing…
And yet I am still suppressing the urge to go buy more. Is there a 12 step program for shoe addiction?
I’m a 55 yo male who has never, never, never understood the importance, the necessity of women needing so many pairs of shoes. OK, you want them to match your outfits. That I understand. But then you buy an accessory for the outfit and you now need another pair! But for all those women out there, who get asked about their shoes, tell them this. Cinderella is proof that a good pair of shoes can change your life!!!
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